Texans Host Former Dolphins WR Brian Hartline

Categories: Football, Sports

Chris J. Nelson via Wikimedia Commons
On Monday, after our show was over, we were in our post-show meeting in our program director's office when my cohost, Ted Johnson, openly expressed his frustration with how boring the Texans have been so far this offseason.

"Why don't they make any moves, man?" Ted asked, rhetorically. "It makes it so hard to cover this team for five hours a day on the radio."

Almost as if the radio content gods had heard Ted's plea, 15 minutes after our meeting ended came the news that Andre Johnson and the Texans would be parting ways. One day later, it was the Texans' release of Chris Myers that carried us.

Ask and ye shall receive, Ted!

So with a couple of longtime mainstays leaving town, it's about time the Texans begin the process of replacing them and/or upgrading the roster's talent level overall. To that end, they finally entertained a guest over at NRG Stadium on Thursday.

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D.J. Swearinger Under Investigation for Running Out on Truck Customizing Tab

Categories: Football, Sports

Photo by Aaron M Sprecher
Athletes like to trick out their cars. It's what they do. Well, many of them, at least. And if you're making that sweet second-round-pick cheddar, you want the world to know it.

Spinning rims, bass booming speakers, tinted windows, that's what's up, man! You don't want to be driving around in a Nissan Altima with no tint listening to AM radio (unless you're tuned into Sports Radio 610).

So with that in mind, we interrupt the mild depression and coping of the past two days (Andre Day and Myers Day) to bring you a little comic relief. Well, we hope it's comic relief. If it winds up with D.J. Swearinger getting arrested, we won't be laughing (that hard).

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Houston Will Miss Chris Myers

Categories: Football, Sports

Photo by Max Burkhalter
For years, Texan fans seethed over the perception that Gary Kubiak was overly loyal to players. He was afraid to cut "his guys," many of whom he'd happily doled out extensions for sometime in the recent past.

Real or imagined (and honestly, like most things in life, the truth was probably somewhere in between), Texan fans believed this dynamic existed, so when they had to endure more bad seasons than good, there was a frustration level over why the Texans weren't conducting business like a "real NFL team."

Why can't they be more like the Patriots??? That was the lament. Well, you're getting your wish now, Texan fan. It's clear who's running the show at NRG Stadium, and there are no scraps in Bill O'Brien's scrapbook.

To wit, 24 hours after telling Andre Johnson he can seek a trade, now center Chris Myers is gone, released on Wednesday afternoon after his seventh season with the Texans.

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Andre Johnson Odds Board: Where Will He Play Next?

Photo by Groovehouse
Well, Texan fan, hopefully you've put your grief behind you. Yeah, I know it hasn't even been 48 hours since you were forced to digest the news that Andre Johnson's Texan career will be coming to a close imminently.

But this is 2015. It's the age of short attention spans, and by definition, if you're only capable of paying attention to news items for 24 hours, then you're only allowed to grieve over news items for 24 hours. These are my rules.

By the way, yesterday's au revoir to Andre Johnson wasn't something that should've sideswiped you. We all knew this day would come eventually. (I'm mildly surprised it didn't happen a year ago.) Frankly, go look at the list of the top receivers of all-time, and most of them had cameos in a uniform-not-normally-associated-with-them at the end of their careers.

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J.J. Watt's Cabin Is Really, Really Nice (with PICTURES)

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Photo by Groovehouse
"It's really minimalistic. The only thing I have to focus on is training and that's the way I like it. There's no frills, there's nothing to distract you up here. It's just an empty space and a log cabin and snow." -- J.J. Watt on his new offseason cabin in the "middle of nowhere"

Damn, these quotes had us so excited for the next chapter of the Legend of J.J. Watt, and quite honestly, for fans of the Rocky movies, perhaps the best chapter of the Legend of J.J. Watt.

A log cabin in the middle of nowhere in the dead of winter, it was Rocky IV all over again!

We all wanted to picture a bearded J.J. Watt shoulder pressing a rickshaw with a Texans cheerleader, Toro, and John Weeks sitting in it and then running ten miles in the snow to the top of a mountain and screaming "LUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!" We wanted that to be J.J.'s new winter reality.

Unfortunately, J.J. Watt's idea of "minimalistic" differs greatly from the actual definition.

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Houston Texans Decide the Andre Johnson Era Is Over

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Photo by LBking
"I know that we would like to have him back, we'd like to see him retire a Houston Texan. But again, I don't think retirement is in his mind. When I say that, I just mean in the future. We don't want him to play anywhere else. He's a Houston Texan and we want him back." -- Bill O'Brien at the NFL Combine two weeks ago

If you read Bill O'Brien's quotes from the NFL Combine a couple of weeks ago, he really seemed to want Andre Johnson back with the Houston Texans next season. He seemed adamant, almost enthusiastic, by God!

However, as is oftentimes the case, it's not so much what O'Brien said but what he didn't say. Scour the quotes again, and there's no mention of dollars, no mention of "at what price" the Texans would want Andre Johnson back. Just, "Hey, we'd love to have Andre Johnson back!"

Money can be a very polarizing issue in today's NFL, what with that darn salary cap and all, and when a big cap figure meets advancing age and declining production, rarely is happiness at that nexus. Unless you're an elite quarterback or willingly choose to walk away at a young age (Barry Sanders), if you are a highly paid franchise icon, you'll likely finish out your career toiling for another team. That's the way it is. That's the NFL.

Predictably, Andre Johnson and Texans fans learned this the hard way on Monday night.

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Hey, NFL, You Can Keep Your Super Bowl and We'll Hang Onto Our $50M, Deal?

Categories: Football, Sports

Photo by dskillzhtown
Not good enough, apparently.
According to a report from Chron.com, the NFL, after touring NRG Stadium this week, says the stadium needs up to $50 million in upgrades in anticipation of Super Bowl LI, to be held in Houston in 2017. While the upgrades include the installation of Wi-Fi (a requirement for all NFL stadiums that NRG has yet to add) as one component, the bulk of the modifications -- some $45 million worth -- are said to be primarily for the club and suite levels.

They're kidding, right? Apparently not.

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Aaron Hernandez's Bar Tab From the Night Odin Lloyd Was Killed (w/ VIDEO)

TMZ Sports
wave your hands in the air, like you just don't care!
Most of us, thankfully, have no firsthand knowledge of what goes through the mind of a murderer mere hours before he or she commits such a dastardly deed.

Now, we are not completely certain that former New England Patriots tight end (and current guest of the Massachusetts correctional system) Aaron Hernandez is, in fact, a murderer, although the overwhelming pile of evidence seems to indicate that, at the very least, he sure does find himself near lots of guns and crime scenes.

Hernandez is currently being tried for the murder of Odin Lloyd, so if he is indeed convicted of this crime, surveillance footage played during testimony on Thursday morning would, in theory, give us a window into the mind of at least one convicted murderer just hours before he killed another man.

And the answer appears to be that, just prior to killing someone, a murderer likes to wave his hands in the air, like he just don't care!

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Adrian Peterson's Suspension Overturned By Judge

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When it comes to off the field crime during the NFL's calendar year, 2014 will be remembered as much for Roger Goodell's questionable handling of punishment as it will be for the crimes themselves.

Of course, there was the Ray Rice domestic assault case, whose discipline process set a new standard for offensiveness and ineptitude, complete with Goodell possibly lying about Rice's testimony in their sit-down meeting and a total overreaction (to their initial under-reaction) by the Ravens and the league to the release of the video of the incident in which Rice struck his fiancé. Eventually, that mess had to be cleaned up by somebody else, with Rice getting reinstated upon appeal.

Then there was Vikings running back Adrian Peterson's child abuse case, in which Peterson sat out over two months of the season while he was in court, eventually plead to a lesser charge, and was still suspended until April 2015, despite being told he'd be credited for time served. Like Rice, Peterson appealed.

And like Rice, Peterson's Goodell mess had to be cleaned up by somebody else.

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Michael Sam Reportedly Slated for Next Season of Dancing With The Stars

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Of all the marquee reality television shows, the one that has utilized current and former NFL players to the greatest extent (and it's really not even that close) is ABC's Dancing With The Stars.

Former NFL standouts Emmitt Smith and Hines Ward are former DWTS champions, and in seasons past, the show has also featured Jerry Rice, Warren Sapp and Jason Taylor coming in second place. Former Houston Texan Jacoby Jones parlayed his 15 minutes of good football into a berth on the show in 2013.

However, those players all had certain things in common. They were either retired or, in the case of Jones, an established player under a lucrative contract.

Michael Sam is neither retired nor established. However, he will reportedly become the first hopeful NFL player to appear on the program this coming season.

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