Cardinals 32, Texans 0: 4 Winners, 4 Losers

Categories: Game Time, Sports

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Trouble for the Texans.
Yeah see, this was kind of my point.

In my bi-weekly piece that I wrote for the most recent edition of the Houston Press, I analyzed the Texans' near total failure in the three NFL Drafts (2011, 2012, 2013) prior to the most recent one. (I'll give the Class of 2014 more than two weeks of practice before passing judgment.)

I wrote most specifically about the unprecedented run of bad luck and poor evaluation that's beset the 2013 class, but the fact of the matter is that, outside of J.J. Watt, 2012 and 2011 have been nothing to write home about either.

And it shows. It showed big time Saturday night in the Cardinals' 32-0 slapping of the Texans in a game that looked a lot more like an early September "SEC vs FCS school" tune up than a matchup of two rosters of paid pros.

Granted, the Texans were without the services of Andre Johnson, Arian Foster, Brian Cushing, Johnathan Joseph, and Brandon Brooks (among a few others deeper down on the roster). But no NFL team should display a drop off this drastic from their ones to their twos.

The game was at its least competitive when the Texans had their starters on the field, and it was their starters who played most of the first half, at least on offense. That is, when the offense was on the field (they had only run about eight plays by halfway through the second quarter). The Texans had no third down conversions (they wound up with none all night), two horrific interceptions, and a gaggle of penalties.

And this was just the first half!

To start the second half, the Texans had a holding penalty on the opening kickoff which put them back at their own ten yard line, and then promptly picked up a delay of game penalty by not running the play in time. I half expected head coach Bill O'Brien to have the offense take a lap on the spot. (That's been part of O'Brien's gimmick the first two weeks of camp. Lots of punitive laps.)

Anyway, it went from bad to worse to Savage, and eventually, like a colonoscopy, the game ended with a lot of pain in a lot of really bad places, and we all wished we wouldn't have to re-live it.

But we do.

It feels like an overreaction, because it's the first preseason game for crying out loud, but can we really ignore that the Texans, without four of their top eight or so guys (and with the other four or so of those top eight guys essentially bowing out early), looked like an expansion team on Saturday night? In fact, calling them an expansion team is an insult to my dear friends Seth Payne and Marcus Coleman and the great men who repped the actual expansion version of your Houston Texans.

This game was horrible, and it was validation of all the things I feared would and will come back to roost on Bill O'Brien's front lawn this season. The Texans, outside of their upper crust, just don't have a lot of good NFL players right now. This is what happens when you continually whiff on second, third, fourth, and fifth round picks.

Finding winners and losers in Saturday's rubble, well, this is what I do, so here you go...



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9 comments
Michael Terry
Michael Terry

Not a quarterback in the NFL that can play with a crap offensive line... Been saying that for years now

Trea Hyatt
Trea Hyatt

It's all Kubiak and Shaub's fault...

Tré Waltrip
Tré Waltrip

Come one you didn't really expect a win right?!

Cody Ford
Cody Ford

Once again, no QB to lead the team. We are no better off. Another wasted year. TFEH!

davet
davet

Perhaps, all of the hopeful Texan fans will realize Fitzpatrick is not the answer at QB. He is an interception on-demand machine and of course, at the costliest of times. Look at last year when he was with the Titans, he cost them at least four games with costly interceptions. Look at his career with the Bills and the other teams.  He wouldn't been on the market if he could really get it done.  Of course, the QB position is not the only issue but it is a very important issue because you can not win games when you turn the ball over. The bigger question I have, what idiots are making decisions like that?  No wonder their recent drafts have sucked.  They got lucky with J.J. Watt.  But we all now a blind squirrel will occasionally find a nut.

PDiddie
PDiddie

Colostomies are not painful (I have had two over the past six years).  They ARE somewhat uncomfortable, mostly in the preparation stage.  And that part of the procedure does smell hideous, so that is where I would say the analogy (pun intended) to the Texans is apt.

Pipez
Pipez

@PDiddie Do you know the difference between a colonoscopy and colostomie. One involves a video camera going up your rear and the other involves you defecating into a bag through a hole in your stomach

PDiddie
PDiddie

@Pipez @PDiddie Yes, I do and thank you for pointing out my mistake.  I also know how to spell colostomy.

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