Two Women Caught Stealing at Beach, Punishable by Viral Shame (VIDEO)
If you're a law-abiding citizen who keeps his or her nose clean, this shouldn't matter. If you're a law-abiding blogger or radio host tasked with finding reams of daily content, this is a great thing.
If you're a petty thief disguised as a frumpy, middle-aged neighborhood mom, this is a terrible thing. With iPhone cameras, there is essentially surveillance around every corner, surveillance that captures not only the crime itself but the denial, the lying and the confrontation afterwards.
So over the Fourth of July weekend, a couple of stout, fortysomething female beach-goers found this out the hard way. For the goods, we go to a shore somewhere in the state of Florida (which was a -350 choice on the Vegas big board for the state in which this video footage was shot).
As you will see, to the naked eye from a distance, the scene looks innocent enough -- a couple of ladies wrapping up a day at the shore having a little trouble taking down their portable fold-up canopy thingie. Totally logical. Hell, it's damn near camouflage. Why would anyone think a crime is being executed in this video?
Unless it's your shit that they're trying to jack, right?
Okay, on the Internet awesomeness scale, this rates roughly a 153 on a scale of 1 to 10. This is just fantastic. Here are my favorite highlights from this glorious 62 seconds of footage:
0:09 -- When asked by the owner, "Is that yours?" the one in the red bathing suit says, "Yeah, but we don't know how to do it." Because why would someone who owns a tent that they had previously put up know how to disassemble it? That would be crazy!
0:19 -- The feigned flabbergasted-ness of the hefty gal in the orange shirt is priceless. "Wait, THIS IS YOURS?!?" And on cue, both of these criminals knew exactly what to point at to feign the "honest mistake." Translation: They've done this before.
0:30 -- Orange Shirt pointing at kids' toys saying, "Wait a minute..." as if she were suddenly coming to the realization, "Hey, this isn't our stuff...you're right..."
0:47 -- "Put the goddamn camera down..." This is the part where the cameraman is somehow made out to be the bad guy for filming these two specimens committing a crime.
The whole thing ends on film with the woman in the red bathing suit slapping at the camera and beginning to possibly assault the owner of all the items, which was probably not the smartest thing to do considering he was ready to sweep all of this ugliness under the rug.