NFL Rookie QB Update: Mettenberger Sucker-Punched, Manziel Smitten, Madden Ratings Reaction (VIDEO)

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It's in the game.
At the risk of sounding like Chris Berman (which is a horrible risk to take, nonetheless...), there's an old lyric in the Eagles' iconic hit "Hotel California," you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.

It rings true for so many things, not the least of which is the status of "SEC football player."

Yeah, you can get drafted into the NFL, you can sign that first contract, attend OTAs and become a full-fledged member of an NFL roster, but to most of the mouth-breathing psychopaths in the SEC footprint, you'll still always be "that moppy haired asshole who plays for our archival."

Zach Mettenberger found this out the hard way.

The Titans rookie quarterback was out and about in Nashville this past weekend, spending time at a place called Losers Most Wanted Bar & Grill on Division Street, where Mettenberger was the victim of a sucker punch, according to the owner of the bar, Steve Ford.

Courtesy of the Tennessean, here are the details:

Steve Ford said Monday that the 6-foot-5, 224-pound former LSU star did nothing to provoke another bar patron and did not throw any punches.

"Here's the truth: The guy said something about 'Roll Tide!' to Zach, and Zach turned around and said 'Good luck with that,' " Ford said. "And the guy's buddy then sucker-punched Zach.

"I promise you that Mettenberger did not throw a punch. He didn't do anything. The guy sucker-punched him in the eye, that's the bottom line, and the guy that punched him started running out the door. My door guys had to chase him down."

Mettenberger, a sixth-round draft pick, did not require medical attention at the scene. On Sunday night, he cleared up a fan message-board rumor that indicated he'd broken his hand in an incident at a local bar.

"Bogus rumor," Mettenberger said in a direct message via Twitter.

The moral of the story, as always, is that the phrase "Roll Tide" coming from a human being's lips should evoke the same reaction from those nearby as would the snarl of a coked-up black bear. If a Bama fan is uttering the phrase "Roll Tide," it means he (or she) is ready to pounce. It is the "fighting position" of sports catchphrases.

The proper reaction from Mettenberger upon hearing "Roll Tide" should have been to a) scurry out of the room like the Road Runner or b) brandish a weapon that would subdue or kill said Bama fan.

Would you say, "Good luck with that" to a snarling, coked-up black bear? No, of course not. So part of this is on Mettenberger. He should know better than to antagonize a zoo animal (or a drunk Bama fan, same thing).

That said, a proportional response is in order -- so I say we give James Carville prima nocta on Katherine Webb and call it even.


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