Five "Nights" the Astros Can Use to Sell Tickets in September

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Breaking Bad night?
When it comes to the standings, Major League Baseball (or any other team sport, for that matter) is a zero-sum game.

One team wins, one team loses, and in baseball, by the time August rolls around, from a business standpoint, you just hope that the teams that lose regularly are in cities where the fans attach fewer conditions to attendance than in other cities. St. Louis, Boston, Chicago....those seem like places where tickets still get sold even if the team is ten games under .500.

Unfortunately, many cities aren't nearly as unconditional with their love for their hometown team, so it sends marketing and promotions departments scrambling for solutions to create buzz, fill seats and generate revenue.

Phoenix is one of those passive sports cities.

At 44-57 heading into Wednesday's games, the Diamondbacks are on a long road to nowhere, mired in a battle for third place in the NL West with the equally underwhelming San Diego Padres. So how does Arizona get fans out to the ballpark for a Sunday game against the woeful Chicago Cubs?

Here's how:

Yes, Star Wars Day.

Let me get all of my biases out of the way here -- I am a huge Star Wars fan. When the Sugar Land Skeeters had Star Wars Night at Constellation Field last season, it was one of the handful of "must attend" nights for me, not so much because I get dressed up (I don't), but because I love to watch adults get dressed up and strut around in Han Solo outfits like they think they're total badasses (even though they know full well Solo was saddled with an inferior midichlorian count).

The St. Louis Cardinals had a Star Wars Night earlier this season, which was clearly done out of a massive love for Star Wars (as opposed to being a totally awesome and shameless ticket sales gimmick) because the Cardinals aren't having attendance issues that I'm aware of.

So the D-Backs did their deal on Sunday, and it had all the greatness you could imagine -- Bob Brenly in a Chewbacca outfit that looked as if it were wearing a Rollie Fingers mustache, stormtroopers standing at attention for the national anthem, and fans dressed up in all their costumed intergalactic glory.

If you looked hard enough, there were probably Jawas fornicating in the upper deck.

Now, we all know firsthand that Phoenix is not alone in its need to attract fans to the yard in creative, totally-uncentered-around-baseball ways. We live in one of those towns.

We know that times are tough at Minute Maid Park. They say, "mo' money, mo' problems," but it's also very clear from watching the Jim Crane-led Astros operate "less money, WAY mo' problems."

No TV deal, sparse seat revenue, draft picks falling by the wayside injured or unsigned. And losses. My God, the LOSSES. Times are tough, and as Tony Soprano once told Artie Bucco as Vesuvio was circling the drain, "As a businessman, you do what ya gotta do to keep your dick up...."

Well, take notes, Astros. Gimmicks aren't the end-all solution, but they will help you "keep your dick up," so to speak.



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3 comments
Aimee Bolen
Aimee Bolen

I would totally attend star wars night!

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