Top 10 Ways to Identify a Native Houstonian


dallas.jpg
Photo by Raging Wire
Even though this picture makes Dallas look pretty, Dallas still sucks.

1. You hate Dallas.
Hate is a strong word, and you hate Dallas.


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64 comments
HTownChowDown
HTownChowDown

#facepalm


Repeating hipster cliches does not make you a native Houstonian.

jlnance27
jlnance27

Being a native Houstonian I have to disagree with "the list".  Obviously, Aaron Reiss just moved here, or didn't have time for research (dude, you have to talk to someone over 30). No disrespect intended. However, you know you are a native Houstonian, and there are precious few of us, if you were there for any of these events (tons more, but these are special memories of mine):


10. Your phone number began with two letters- ex. Ri 7-2418 (Riverside) and the  

      entire city was 713 area code.

  9. You have amazing memories of Gateway Pool, ex, the bubble!

  8. Riding 610 loop right after it opened

  7. Playing in the front yard during Hurricane Carla (1961)

  6. Shopping at Walter Pye's at Palm Center/downtown (bought my first suit from

      there)

  5. The Humble Building was the tallest building downtown

  4. Watching The Beetles drive through downtown in an armored car

       on Louisiana street to The Sheraton Hotel on their inaugural US visit

  3. We had one airport- Hobby. (anyone remember the paper airplane contest they   

      ran at the airport each year?)

  2. Spring Branch was on the outskirts of town/Katy was 8 miles out of town

  1. Kitterick's Carousel and Cadet Don were Saturday morning TV staples

Speaking of native Houstonians!!.........looking for members of the Class of '74 from Marian Catholic High School (now the Episcopal High School in Bellaire) for our 40 year high school reunion.  Find us on facebook, please!

sandadana
sandadana

Actually this is a pretty accurate list...hipsters and yuppies will disagree and so will soccer moms and NASCAR dads....

Kevin McNamara
Kevin McNamara

I think #1 is actually Sugarland v Grand Prairie... Not Houston Dallas.

Jorge Delaflor
Jorge Delaflor

Houston Press needs to stop letting 12 year olds write their articles.

Jacob Bocanegra
Jacob Bocanegra

btw Houston ,Landrys (based in Houston) is partly responsible for us not having casinos in Texas. its their lobby money that keeps casinos off the ballot. they have casinos in louisiana,also based in Houston...

Aldo Aceves
Aldo Aceves

Doesn't have to be accurate, but comical, I guess. But this is a stupid ass list. Should've asked Terrance Boudreaux for his!!

Becky DeLeon
Becky DeLeon

Stop pushing this article already. It's weak. I was born and raised in the H...and this doesn't even do my city justice. Gtfo. Lemme re-write this. I didn't study journalism for nothing.

Rachel Lowe
Rachel Lowe

Yep...that is the real list! Nice...!!!

Jacob Bocanegra
Jacob Bocanegra

if u have a 16oz budlight can in ur car,u might be from Houston....

Rachel Lowe
Rachel Lowe

Not sure what about these makes you native...maybe knowing what the Transco Tower is..or that Ima Hogg is a real person.

Ivanna Hampalot
Ivanna Hampalot

HORRIBLE 10 reasons. One reason is you have those ugly wheels on your car that stick out??? Come on!!!

OTL-is-Houston-too
OTL-is-Houston-too

Wow, what a pretentious piece of crap list. Why dog on OTL people as non-Houstonian? I grew up within the city limits off 290, moved a little further out when I was a teen, moved back to the area and chose just outside the Beltway as home. There's no difference. It's strip malls and no-zoning... the difference is I can get to downtown in 20 minutes, the Heights in 12, Upper Kirby in 20, midtown in 20, EaDo in 22 minutes... and my mortgage is probably 300% less than ITL property owners and my yard is waaaay bigger and my car is less likely to get broken into. OTL people can participate in just as many ITL activities and, I would argue, have more money to do it with.

Gready Hunter
Gready Hunter

#4 - you are probably a Katrician - not a native

meghanb
meghanb

Regarding the whole "outside the loop" argument... Slim Thug used to live in Rock Creek (as seen on MTV Cribs) which is in Cypress along with Mike Jones who lives in Cypress. Also, Chamillionaire went to Jersey Village which is in Cypress. "Hit Mike Jones up on the low 281-330-8004" are you kidding me? In fact, "Mo City" is Missouri City soooo way to contradict yourself there. Are you going to tell these guys to stop "repping" Houston just because they live "outside the loop?" I grew up in Cypress and my address was Houston, TX 77070. Get over yourselves, because you're definitely quick to include us in surveys when it comes to being the largest city, etc.

Natalia Lara
Natalia Lara

Stefanie Henriquez Natalie Landers Grecia Enriquez Kenneth Au Charlie Loftin

Meli Alma
Meli Alma

Native Houstonian & proud!! Was excited to read this, Ended up being pretty whack!!! Few in there were pretty good.

Mary McCall
Mary McCall

This list is for inner loopers, and it's totally right. Fuck Dallas.

Carol Park
Carol Park

Pretty accurate I'm not from houston and I only answered yes to one thing and that was my hate for Dallas lol.

Adam Komar
Adam Komar

I knew I was gonna hate this and it didn't fail to disappoint.

montrose.patriot
montrose.patriot

some who r native Houstonians would know of the rest:


1) 7-Eleven is just a memory in the Houston Metro area since January 1988 (its stores became part of NCS/Stop-n-Go, now owned by Corner Store Brands (a Valero retail asset since 2013, previously Diamond Shamrock)

2) U-tote-M was the local convenience store chain once ran by Leroy Melcher as its CEO (his namesake usually seen @ the University of Houston College of Business' Melcher Hall); the business assets of said chain was owned by Circle K since 1984 (now part of Montreal, PQ-based Alimentation Couche-Tard - U-tote-M assets r now in the hands of a Canadian company; to this present day, Landmark Industries with its Timewise convenience stores has became the new U-tote-M)

3) Art Car Weekend started out with 40 cars back in 1988 which has grown to 300

4) those who reside in the Montrose (Neartown) District may recall the former Westheimer Art Festival which ditched its birthright to become the Bayou City Art Festival in 1997 whereas the street festival portion was banned from its natural habitat in 2000 and revived in 2005 as the Westheimer Block Party run by the same organizers who produce the Free Press Summer Fest (FPSF divested the Westheimer Block Party and distanced themselves from the former street festival organizers where one lobbyist was banned from the block party organizing team because of a past connection to the late John Florez (who ran the Westheimer Street Festival Corporation until its demise)

5) the Shamrock Hilton lasted 38 years - its demise marks an era where H-town's historical past is usually neglected where historical homes and buildings are victims of gentrification

6) only metro area where a nighttime Gay Pride Parade is held (this required an ordinance amendment orchestrated by Annise Parker (now the Mayor of the City of Houston)

7) flash flood watches are usually broadcast during torrential downpours since all of Harris County is a billard table

8) the only metro area with a World Class medical campus

9) only one of 2 metro areas (with the DFW Metroplex) where 65 mph is the capped speed limit in response 2 the EPA's nonattainment status; there are no 75mph signage on any Houston-area highway or tollway

10) H-town's Bellaire Blvd corridor is an Asiatown (calling it New Chinatown Southwest is politically incorrect)

James Polnac
James Polnac

If im white am I aloud to have swangers in southside?

Heather Williams
Heather Williams

^^Oh how funny because all of my "native" Houstonians believe this list and the Press to be a pile of useless paper only to be used to line the cat box.

stevek77536
stevek77536

You can explain to people in other cities that, yes, it is possible to sail a boat in the Houston area, and no, I don't own a horse.

Heather Williams
Heather Williams

Listen here. I have lived in Houston for over thirty years and am a proud resident of Third Ward. Houston Press is a piece of trash rag that can only release meaningless lists now.

HtownMan
HtownMan

@meghanb  Outside of 610 loop is still Houston of course. Once you venture past the beltway  is when you will start heading towards leaving the city limits. Slim Thug was born in raised in Homestead. And portions of what locals refer to as "Mo City" is technically southwest Houston but it borders Missouri City and is in Fort Bend County.

hatheg
hatheg

@stevek77536 Actually, can he tell people from other cities that Houston really, REALLY sucks so they'll stop moving here and gentrifying the fun out of the place? 

sandadana
sandadana

But the difference is you're a Hipster so you're the "new" third ward

montrose.patriot
montrose.patriot

A section of SW Houston has a 77489 zip code which is a stepchild community known as Missouri City by Choice where services from the City of Houston and Fort Bend County exist - the catch 22 is that the court cases filed in Fort Bend County will use the residential address on file (my late mom was a Houston, TX resident but when the court ruled on her probate affairs she was defined as a Mo City resident via the last known residence and ZIP code...

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