Five Things Perry Should Take Back While Rolling Back His Gay Comments

prerrrrrrry.jpg
He does have nice hair, though.

It took long enough, but Gov. Rick Perry finally walked back his already infamous comments in San Francisco in which he compared being gay to being an alcoholic. While we admire that Perry at least may have been (probably accidentally) implying that sexual orientation is something you're born with, not something that "reparative therapy" can change, we're pretty sure he was only saying that by accident.

Now he says he should have stuck to the big picture of jobs and the economy and whatnot since everyone needs jobs. "I stepped right in it," he told the Christian Science Monitor on Thursday. An underwhelming statement, but for Perry that was practically an apology. This got us thinking about a few other things Perry has done and said that we wouldn't mind him completely taking back.

5. His presidential campaign. All of it. Speaking of stepping in it ("it" being a euphemism for a political feces storm), Perry used the same excuse for his entire 2012 run for the White House. His attempt to secure the GOP nomination was an unmitigated mess. He was sloppy -- aside from that gorgeous chestnut hair -- and at one point, mid-debate, he couldn't remember the name of the third federal agency he planned to cut if he became president.

Yes, Perry has the best political head of hair in American politics, but looking presidential doesn't automatically mean you should run. Especially when, due to back-pain medication or poor preparation or whatever, you prove you have no business in the I-wanna-live-in-the-White-House arena. Now, as Perry continues circling another run at the top job, he's admitted he had a poor showing last time around. But if he'd just step up and take the whole thing back, that'd be fine.

4. The hunting camp thing. Perry has a hunting lease up in Paint Creek and he's had it for years. Now, the hunting lease has been called "Niggerhead" for longer than anyone can remember, and the name was painted on a large flat rock that stood at the entrance to the camp for ages, according to the Washington Post, but you'd think that when Perry at least became governor, he would have instituted a policy of, you know, not using an incredibly racist and derogatory word in the name of his own friggin' hunting lease.

Texas has a crappy track record when it comes to racism, so you'd think in this day and age the head of the Lone Star State would realize that name is not cool and that he would have realized it years ago and painted over the rock and discontinued use of the name immediately. Well, you'd have another think coming because the rock wasn't painted over, people who are not Perry told the Post, and the rock was there with the name of the place on it for a long while. So yeah, can he undo this one entirely, please?

3. That time he didn't know where he was. Perry didn't let the disastrous White House run stop him. Nope, in 2013 he got back out there and got on the horse and into the national arena quicker than a duck on a june bug (or some other appropriate colloquialism) and immediately embarrassed himself by not knowing exactly where he was.

Specifically, he trotted out at RedState, held in New Orleans (a city in Louisiana that you may have possibly heard of), and told the crowd he was so happy to be in the great business-minded state of Florida. Someone in the crowd helpfully pointed out that he was actually in Louisiana, but it would have been nice if he had managed to know where he was without the aid of the audience.He can't really do anything about this one, but if he could make it a point to know where he is from now on, that'd be all right.


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7 comments
stevek77536
stevek77536

Maybe stop treating taxpayer money like his own piggy bank.  Rented mansion ($800,000 and counting last I looked), big security detail on way too many thinly disguised campaign trips, $40 million to Toyota who said they didn't really need it, etc.

Tom Doran
Tom Doran

Yeah, this is a lame article. People get overworked on campaign trips and forget where they are. If all you see is the inside of buildings and airplanes, and you've been to multiple cities in a week, things become a blur. He should change the name of the hunting ranch. Lots of people have had unsuccessful presidential bids. BP - I don't think anyone is debating whether it was a natural disaster or man made disaster. Much like when people die in car accidents and one might say, "it was God's plan." Not a natural disaster. Secession has never been a serious attempt. The writer really needs to try harder. This was pretty weak. There are most likely five serious things he has done wrong worse than her list.

George Kelly
George Kelly

But that's at least one more thing than Perry. He makes Texans look like idiots.

Jonathan Alonzo
Jonathan Alonzo

Houston Press knows 1 thing...how to be a shitty paper

lesterbet
lesterbet

I wonder if Rick Perry still wants Texas to secede from the United States to join with Mexico to create the Republic of TexMex. LOL. Many stories are in the news today. http://ow.ly/ylSF5

h_e_x
h_e_x

Another one lost to the mayonnaise side.

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