Five Reasons to Watch Atlanta Falcons on Hard Knocks
2. Osi Umenyiora's wife is the most beautiful woman in the world.
This is not my randomly tossing around hyperbole. Empirically, she may very well be the most beautiful woman in the world. In case you didn't know, Umenyiora is married to Leila Lopes, who in 2011 was Miss Universe. That's pretty good! Now, we need to figure out how to write her into the show, maybe have her try and seduce Jacquizz Rodgers in the tunnel leading to the locker room or something. We need something salacious.
3. A possible Julio Jones sidekick!
Wide receiver Julio Jones sustained a season-ending injury five games into last season, one huge reason why 2013 turned into a total shit show for the Falcons. It's expected that he will be back to full strength for 2014, but you never know. So to keep him company, and perhaps to distract Falcons fans, the team signed rookie wide receiver JULIAN Jones out of Arkansas State. My hope is that on Hard Knocks we see Julian gifted to Julio like when Doink the Clown was given his midget buddy, Dink, back in mid-'90s WWE.
4. Roddy White likes to make crazy bets
You all remember the bet he made with that kid on Twitter during March Madness, in-game on the outcome of Mercer and Duke, right? Where he bet Falcons season tickets on the outcome?
@DHoyt77 2 season tickets, 2 SB tix, pregame sideline passes to game and a day at camp as my guest. How does that sound— Roddy White (@roddywhiteTV) March 27, 2014
Well, here's hoping that there's a fight over a game of poker or bourré.
5. Seriously, I can't think of anything else. This team is really fucking boring. Thanks for nothing, HBO.