Ten Things You Wish You Knew Before Moving to Houston

Categories: Spaced City

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Photo by Alexpgp
We're the second fastest growing city in America, which means we've got lots of new folks living in and around the area.

A lot of what people know about Houston comes from popular media and doesn't really prepare them for living here. At least that's been our experience in dealing with the noobs.

Sure, we're the base of the energy industry, it's okay to walk around with a cowboy hat, our summers are wicked and all the usual things; but there's more.

Here we present to you new arrivals a list of the 10 things we wish we'd known before we decided to call H-Town home.

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Photo by Egonzalesmarquez

10.) Women have to rethink beauty options in this heat

The humidity will make frizzy hair that much frizzier, but worse, the humidity and heat will melt your makeup.



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33 comments
N.sonnier32
N.sonnier32

Well if you don't like it - go away. I'm going to be moving from Denver, CO back home really soon! I was reared on the Northside of Houston and I'll tell all of y'all in my extensive travels - Houston has the best people around. If you need some other town that hides the poor, cater to the LGBT crowd or is beautiful in street and town structure then go on somewhere else. Your city should be about the people - I'd take a "Hi, how are you doing today" as opposed to a beautiful city where folks only talk on FB. And everybody knows that the best cooking is always done at home!!!! So you want to eat at a restaurant, be prepared for restaurant food! Houston RULES!!!!

ashleighelizabeth35
ashleighelizabeth35

Being that I actually DID move here about two and a half years ago let me take a crack at coming up with a more relevant list of things I wished I'd know before I moved here.


10.  The restaurant scene is bland and repetitive.  Houston is supposed to be this great place to live if you're a foodie but I'm honestly not impressed.  This city is wall to wall Pappa's, Goode Company and Shipley's chains.  All the Mexican restaurants taste like carbon copies of each other, and there isn't any decent BBQ to be had here.


9.  The Gulf Coast beaches within easy reach are bland, dirty and uninteresting.  OK a gulf beach is better then a lake in my book almost any day, but it's hardly worth the fight through traffic to get to them more than once or twice a year.  From an airplane flying in they look so tantalizingly clean and close to the city but nothing could be further from the truth.


8.  The amusement park options are the pits.  How can the fourth largest city in the country be so bereft of quality amusement parks?  Want a decent roller coaster?  You'd better head to Dallas or San Antonio.  Quality water slides and wave pools more your speed?  Better pack it up for New Braunfels. Love the idea of going to the state fair?  Not in this town you don't (though the rodeo isn't a bad substitute I guess).


7. The LGBT scene is disappointing unless you happen to be a gay male.  You're telling me a city with 4 million people can't support more then one lesbian bar and one drag bar at a time?  Unbelievable!  There's plenty of bars catering to gay males though,  too bad those boys aren't my type.


6.  Better hope you like driving a lot if you want to actually see some of this town.  Look I lived in Atlanta for 20 years so I know a thing or two about large metropolitan areas spread over a lot of real estate but Houston takes the cake for the most spread out metro area I've ever seen.  It literally takes as much as two hours to go from one end of town to the other.  This city probably covers more square miles then the state of Rhode Island.

5.  Want to get across town in a hurry?  Better have a lot of change in your pockets, or better yet an electronic toll collector on your dash.  I've never seen so many toll roads in my life that cost so much money.  Toll Roads in Houston take classism  to a whole new level.


4.  It's hard to separate the hood from the safe areas in this town.  There is such a sameness to the buildings, the neighborhoods, and the roads that's it hard to tell at first glance what kind of a neighborhood you just drove in to.  The lack of zoning laws don't help in that respect as you can find areas that have million dollar houses less then a block from something that looks like a mid 70s Chicago Housing Project.


3.  This city is industrial and dirty looking.  I would wager that short of one of the rust belt cities up north that Houston is one of the most industrialized and polluted metropolitan regions in the country.  Much of the city has a tired worn out industrial park look to it, and much of the infrastructure looks decayed.


2.  The light rail system here is a joke.  This is one thing the original article got right.  I spent 20 years griping about Marta but I never realized how good I had it.  Light rail here has one freaking line are you kidding me???  And that one train line doesn't even go anywhere, unless you happen to be a medical professional that needs to go downtown.  This is what a city of 4 million souls comes up with for public transportation?  What a laugh.


1.  I've been on roads in New York, Las Vegas, Jacksonville, Washington DC, Atlanta, Miami, Charlotte, Tampa, Dallas and a dozen other smaller cities and I have never ever seen such horrible roads in my life.  Even the roads in Mexico, and Jamaica were better then what this city has to offer.  Everybody here keeps telling me how much better concrete is then asphalt.  Everybody claims it last a lot longer.  Let's see then I guess that would mean that most of the roads in this town were last paved at some point during the Eisenhower administration???

Dat Boy Vigil
Dat Boy Vigil

This sounds like a stay away from houston article! This is the best city in the World!

Dat Boy Vigil
Dat Boy Vigil

This was stupid! Only the bums on every corner were correct!

Tic Toc Photography
Tic Toc Photography

OMG! The Galleria during the holidays! Cant stand it! and I didnt even know about the No Zoning Laws. Houston is alright to me.

Jacob Bocanegra
Jacob Bocanegra

dont get me wrong i love Houston because we're the friendliest city in Merica but the reason for that is because of the native Houstonians. the ppl who move here from NYC, mexico, atlanta, etc... theyre the ppl that are rude and drive like theyre at home...plus to be honest the only jobs are in oil/gas and service jobs....

Chris Heideman
Chris Heideman

The giant mosquito in the last pic is from my home town in Alaska I use to sell fly fishing flys when I was a kid in the store that it is in front of!

Jennifer Moore
Jennifer Moore

Not sure what part of Houston Veronica grew up in, but if there's anywhere in this town that DOESN'T have any or all of the things in this list I want to move there!

James Inglish
James Inglish

This is a pointless article. FUCK YOU HOUSTON'S AWESOME

Rococo Carr
Rococo Carr

I was born and raised here and most of the things on this list are false. It sounds like the author has never been to Houston.

Jacob Bocanegra
Jacob Bocanegra

I live here. born and raised. I'm asking ppl to not move here. traffic is already screwed up enough and the ppl who move here can't drive. so piss off wankers

Josh Kind
Josh Kind

Don't go to that shittie town to begin with.

Noelle A. Perry
Noelle A. Perry

uh. wat. say goodbye to the service industry, then. this is one of the stupidest things i've ever read.

Feroz Mulla
Feroz Mulla

The article didn't seem welcoming at all, more like scare tactics to keep people away!

Amanda Louise Martinez
Amanda Louise Martinez

They said nothing to warn these poor miserable fools of 45. It sucks to drive all times of the day or night, any day of the week or weather situation

Chris Glazier
Chris Glazier

Number 11, the Houston Press is nothing but fish wrap on it's best day.

Nicki Stacy
Nicki Stacy

Who said anything about road rage? Driving the speed limit or even under around here is likely to get you run over if the driver is tooting along in the left lanes. When I am just going for a cruise, I stick to the right lanes so I am not impeding the faster flowing traffic. I practice what I preach.

Rococo Carr
Rococo Carr

I have lived in Houston almost my whole life and most of these things are non-issues. To bad the article didn't mention any of the good things people should know about Houston. I so glad I got the hell out of Austin and moved back here.

Melanie Jaramillo Kennedy
Melanie Jaramillo Kennedy

Yikes! Don't practice road rage just because you're in a hurry- we all have places to be but courtesy while driving definitely needs to be adopted more! This place is by far the worst!

puppybone69
puppybone69

#11: Don't expect any of our sports teams to win when it really matters, unless it's the Rockets. In all the years that we've had the Colt 45's/Astros in MLB, the Oilers/Texans in the NFL, and the Rockets in the NBA, only the Rockets have ever not let us down when it really mattered (so far). So don't go to any postseason games with any hope that we'll actually win it all, we likely won't.

Molly Flores
Molly Flores

I think people should just stay in there city's, we don't need more people here.

Sophia del Fiore
Sophia del Fiore

I find that we actually go to other cities to do stuff . nothing really to do here & Houston is ugly . at least we'll always have Astroworld. who wants to get on the Alpine Sleigh ride with me

Sophia del Fiore
Sophia del Fiore

I wish people would stop moving here. more traffic, rent keeps going up, more crime, more rude people. 15 years ago, they should've made it law that only people with at least a bachelors degree are allowed to move here. they forgot to mention the bazillion restaurants and bars that keep opening because obviously all people do here is eat & get drunk. such fun...

Jacob Bocanegra
Jacob Bocanegra

were full don't move here!! please god just stay where u are. there are jobs unless its in oil or u like wiating table. crime is up. traffics worse all streets are being worked on at the same time.

JimWC
JimWC

For those of you that think slideshows are such a cool way of presenting information, I stopped at the very first slide because I didn't want to have to click nine more times.

RoosterMcGee
RoosterMcGee topcommenter

@JimWC ...You didn't want to click NINE more times? WOW! 1st word problems!

RoosterMcGee
RoosterMcGee topcommenter

@JimWC ...You didn't want to click NINE more times?  WOW!  1st word problems!

overmatt
overmatt

@JimWC they don't think it's cool, they just want the extra clicks, aka advertising $$

zebedatious
zebedatious

@RoosterMcGee... Am I missing something? 10 slides? 9 following the initial original click? I don't think I am... dork.

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