Johnny Manziel $25 Million Hoax Lawsuit Is a GREAT Way to Start Your Weekend

Categories: Game Time, Sports

Photos by Aaron M. Sprecher
Sued in a fake lawsuit.
Back in early September, Johnny Manziel was suspended for the first half of the Texas A&M 2013 season opener against the Rice Owls, NCAA fallout from his autograph-signing binge over the summer of 2013 (or the "Summer of Johnny," for readers of this blog).

Johnny paid his penance, entered the game in the second half and amid another 30 minutes of head-spinning superhero plays, he got into a trash-talking session with Rice defensive back Malcolm Hill. The end result of the confrontation was a 15-yard penalty on Manziel.

Well, actually, the end result was the Internet vaporizing.

Because about six seconds after the penalty flag hit the turf, Manziel strolled back to the Aggie bench and appeared to possibly be ignoring his head coach, Kevin Sumlin. (In fact, he was just avoiding eye contact while apologizing for the misstep, but whatever.) Well, many people lost it.

Many people like ESPN's Mark May and Trevor Matich, who called Johnny Manziel the spawn of Satan. (I'm paraphrasing.)

It was over-the-top hyperbole by a cadre of blathering idiots, but somehow I think if you were to crawl inside the brains of May and Matich, aside from having plenty of elbow room, their portrait of Johnny Manziel would look a LOT like the image portrayed in this (incredibly frivolous and totally hilarious) lawsuit filed against Manziel in a court in the state of Florida by something called a "Samantha Schacher" (My thoughts after the embedded PDF file.):

Samantha Schacher v Johnny Manziel by Darren Adam Heitner

Of course, this lawsuit was filed in the state of Florida. God bless you, Florida. Never stop being you.

Okay, now that we have that out of the way, here are my favorite highlights (and please just assume "sic" on this whole recap, thanks!):

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My Voice Nation Help

the lawsuit is obviously BS, but why do you go constantly out of your way to defend and praise this little entitled prick? fuck manziel

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