Charles Barkley Versus the Women of San Antonio Is Turning Into the Most Compelling NBA Playoff Matchup

Categories: Game Time, Sports

Photo by Jesse Acosta
About a million women in San Antonio have been giving Charles Barkley side-eye since his comments about them.
Last night in San Antonio, the Spurs systematically dismembered the Oklahoma City Thunder by 35 points, 112-77.

What had been a close game through one and a half quarters began to spin out of control for the Thunder just before halftime, leading to a second half that essentially amounted to a 24-minute submission hold. In the end, Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook, head coach Scott Brooks, they were all figuratively lying in a pool of their own blood with the Spurs theme music playing, like the end of an episode of Monday Night RAW.

The Thunder are playing without their best defensive player in Serge Ibaka, who also doubles as the only Thunder player with a pulse offensively not named Durant or Westbrook, so this series is a cat-and-mouse game of Spurs head coach Gregg Popovich deciding which Thunder scab to pick and Brooks trying futilely to stop the bleeding.

If you're Oklahoma City or a fan of close games, this series is a mess. So thank God we have Charles Barkley!

The only compelling matchup left in the Western Conference Finals is between TNT's mouth extraordinaire, Sir Charles, and the women of San Antonio, whose ample-booty-ness Barkley has referred to many times, but for some reason, this postseason the whole thing has escalated into a conflict that, by the end of the weekend, may be the only reason left to watch this series.

The 2014 feud started a couple of weeks ago with this Barkley rant...

A River Walk "dirty creek" blast to boot!

It escalated with Barkley's non-apology, which was apparently a big enough deal to where entertainment outlets were reporting it like actual news (a true sign of a great feud)...

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Humbucker Hernandez
Humbucker Hernandez

you guys should try the enchiladas in San Antonio. they're so sexy the idea of body image totally vanishes

FattyFatBastard topcommenter

As far as wrestling analogies go, this reminds me more of Andy Kaufman vs. Memphis.


What he said about the women there is true. I lived there for 5 years and even I started to pack on pounds. Lots of them. I go there twice a month on business and not a whole lot has changed with regard to the waist size of that town. It's really awful because the diabetes rate is so high there. Very few people there exercise. Also, San Antonio has a very low collective sense of self esteem as a city- way lower than our low self esteem in Houston. They get really really butt hurt when a negative comment is made about them. Also, it's not like they just have a few extra pounds or the ladies there are pleasantly plump. They are morbidly obese. Maybe if they would take in fewer calories than they burn and get off of the sofa and go outside, there wouldn't be an issue.

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