Texans Tracker: Peter King Gives Us the Most Absurd Update Yet

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If this were every other year, we'd be around 48 hours away from the NFL Draft, with all of the conjecture, smokescreens and posturing set to expire this weekend.

But it's not every other year. It's 2014, and in 2014, where the draft has been moved back two weeks so the NFL can usurp more of the calendar because of a Radio City Music Hall scheduling conflict, we are going to get even more baseless speculation and anonymous sources whether we like it or not.

Up until now, my personal favorite euphemism for anonymous sources had been "people around the league," as in "people around the league believe the Texans will draft a human being."

But Peter King destroyed "people around the league" on Monday in his weekly MMQB.com column.

Who makes this stuff up?
Behold, FORS!

"Houston, at No. 1, isn't set on Jadeveon Clowney. In fact, one FORS (Friend of Rick Smith) told me the Texans general manager likes Khalil Mack over Clowney, and we still don't know which quarterback Houston would choose if it chooses one first overall. I still think the Texans would go with a more sure thing with the first overall pick than a quarterback -- and that sure thing could also be tackle Greg Robinson. But imagine Mack, the outside linebacker from the University of Buffalo, being the first pick in a stacked draft. Wouldn't that be something--a second straight Mid-American Conference player (Eric Fisher, Central Michigan, by Kansas City) as the top pick in the NFL draft?"

Now, I did a Google Image search on "friends of Rick Smith," and it's mostly pictures of Bob McNair, Cal McNair, Rick Smith's wife, Tiffany, and a shit ton of pictures of Rick Smith himself. And therein lies your answer. I'm going with the FORS actually being Smith himself, especially considering that Smith has guest-written a column for King before. I mean, it's not like King has to go sniffing around Smith's periphery to piece together what Rick might be thinking. If he wants to know, likely he can just call.

So with that in mind, how about we translate King's speculation, shall we?

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King is just churning for clicks and hits...


Sources close to me are speculating that Bill O'Brien is doubting the authenticity of that one handed jet ski grab.

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