Zapruder Analysis of a Women's Basketball Sucker Punch for the Ages

Categories: Game Time, Sports

I'm not a big women's basketball guy.

That statement is not meant as a slight toward women. I love women! I'm just not a huge fan of their brand of basketball, which is built around a seemingly stronger gravitational pull than the men's game and a false veil of "fundamental superiority" over their male counterparts (despite the fact that women shoot the ball worse and turn the ball over more than men).

(NOTE: The "fundamental superiority" narrative, as best I can recall, was fostered by none other than the late John Wooden, the greatest men's college basketball coach of all time. It might have been his only bad take.)

So if women's hoops finds its way onto this blog in a post authored by me, assume it has nothing to do with dribbling, shooting, passing, or any intrinsic basketball activity.

And certainly this post has almost none of those things.

Dateline, Finnish Basketball League, a game between something called "Honka" and something called "ToPo," which are two names where, if there were a drinking game called "Fraggle Rock characters or Finnish basketball team names?", I would have gotten destroyed.

If you watch the video clip below, at the very beginning you'll see a player in white (that's Team Honka, or on Twitter #TeamHonka) wearing number 33 run into a player in blue (by process of elimination that's Team ToPo, or #TeamToPo, you get it), and crash hard onto the floor.

The player in white is named Shanel Harrison, an American player who played college ball at La Salle and Virginia Tech. The player in blue is named Niina Laakso. Needless to say, this video does not end well....

WOW. I mean...ok, time for some Zapruder action on this footage:

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