Rick Perry Has No Intention of Going Gently Into the Good Night (But We Already Knew That)

PerryonJimmy.jpeg
Screen grab from YouTube.com
Perry can't say no to a presidential bid.
Gov. Rick Perry is wrapping things up. Yeah, he's been the guy with the best hair in Texas politics and has held the governor's seat for a record-setting 14 years, but Perry has obviously decided he hasn't reached the end of the political line quite yet. He popped up on Jimmy Kimmel and now there's a bunch of media chatter about how Perry is (shockingly) probably gearing up for another run at the White House.

Before South By Southwest in Austin became the scene of a tragedy, it was the place to be for pretty much every famous person in the world. (Except Elton John, who went to Beaumont instead, go figure.) Of course, Perry turned up too and he made an appearance on the Jimmy Kimmel during Kimmel's stint in Austin last week.

Perry wasn't at all fazed by the booing he received when he walked out on stage. He handled it, kept on walking and seemed to be silently reminding everyone that his politics are what they are, but just look at all his presidential hair. "There's three places you want to make sure you don't want to be introduced when you're in the business I'm in," Perry said. "a hockey match, a rock concert, and now Jimmy Kimmel's show."

Kimmel got to the point, asking Perry why he would even want to run for president again since he didn't exactly do well last time. "America is a great place for second chances. Let's just leave it at that," Perry replied.

Since then everybody and their dog in the media set has been talking about how Perry is probably going to run. Is it really that shocking though? He made a mess of it last time around, but if he doesn't run for president what else will Perry have to do? He once shot a coyote while jogging but the guy noted a few months ago he really can't jog anymore (time has gotten to his knees, if not his hair.) So yes, no matter who is elected to become the next governor, Perry will most likely still be around and running for office. Fish gotta swim, bird gotta fly, and all that.

However, if for some reason he decides not to run -- or doesn't get the nomination -- we do have a couple ideas for what he could do instead. We're betting he'll become a motivational speaker, because that's what every politician who can no longer do some politicking does. We'd also make a small wager that he'll write a book (or at least put his name on a ghost written one) on statesmanship and other stuff designed to make it look like he ran Texas so now he should totally run the country. We humbly suggest he also write a children's book about his views on gun control and marijuana decriminalization, because we'd like to read it.

If none of the aforementioned works out, we do have one potential solution for how an out-of-office Perry might spend his time: George W. Bush took up painting, so maybe Perry will take up sculpting. Then the two can start a retired politicians artists compound. If they put together an art show, we want to be first in line to buy tickets.


Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help
17 comments
nancy.tropoli
nancy.tropoli

Rick Perry espouses principles of small government while he has expanded the Governor's role in every aspect - especially education - which is particularly ironic as he personally has so little.  

twotimelooserperry
twotimelooserperry

If he keeps this up, he will pass up Ross Perot as the worst Texan ever to run for President. Or maybe that's his idea of a success? Maybe we should start calling him Two-Time-Loser Perry, Instead of Governor Good Hair.

Noelle A. Perry
Noelle A. Perry

no, texas going completely blue would be "fucking up a good thing" [whether or not a blood-red, hyper-religious theocracy is a "good thing" is debatable]. texas going purple would be a state that actually represents most of its people.

John Carpenter
John Carpenter

I'd guess he's studied up some by now, still has no chance

Alexia Katechis
Alexia Katechis

Deborah Adams I love that he got bood walking onto the stage.

David Hinz
David Hinz

Last thing Texas needs is to go purple and f*ck up a good thing.

Kyle King
Kyle King

Texas got what it deserved every time it elected this twerp. Luckily the state is a-purpling, and hopefully we have learned a lesson...

Puller58
Puller58

Perry's staff are trying to revive his chances for President.  Debates anyone?

stevek77536
stevek77536

Another case study of the inverse relationship between confidence and competence.  Like an NBA player talking smack while air balling free throws.

twotimelooserperry
twotimelooserperry

You should ask to be Perry's campaign manager. Your language and  ignorant attitude seem the perfect match.

twotimelooserperry
twotimelooserperry

@Puller58 I hear he's going to ask Ross Perot to be his running mate. Nothing says sucess like putting two loosers together.

twotimelooserperry
twotimelooserperry

@Puller58 I hear he's going to ask Ross Perot to be his running mate. Nothing wins like putting two loosers together.

stevek77536
stevek77536

@Puller58  I recall the last time around a pundit said Perry had a top notch campaign team.  What was missing was a top notch candidate.

Puller58
Puller58

@twotimelooserperry @Puller58 Only problem with that is Perot would want the roles reversed.  He's either the boss or nothing.  And Perot's charm is devestating.  ("Work on it!")

Puller58
Puller58

@stevek77536 @Puller58 "Bush's Brain" unfairly gets all the credit despite Karen Hughes' surrogate mama routine let Bush stay on the rails.  Perry can't be rehabbed without a lot of work.

Now Trending

Houston Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Loading...