Matt Schaub's Oakland Press Conference: This Is Why They're The Raiders
If you recall, he had been in hibernation for an undisclosed (but not insignificant) amount of time when finally, the other meddling kids, Luke and Leia, hatched a plan to free him from the claws of Jabba the Hutt. When he was finally liberated from the body-shaped shackles, Solo had no idea where he was, where he'd been, or how long he'd been frozen in carbonite. (Hell, dude couldn't even see.)
How long was I out for? A day? A month? A decade? That had to be what Han was thinking, right?
Indeed, I always wondered what those first few unfrozen seconds felt like for Solo.
Well, after Friday's press conference welcoming Matt Schaub to the Oakland Raiders, I no longer wonder.
On Friday, the Oakland Raiders, still presumably adhering to the mantras of "Commitment to Excellence" and "Just Win, Baby," traded a sixth round draft pick to the Houston Texans for Schaub.
Let me say that again in more poignant terms -- another NFL team gave up something of worth for the right to pay Matt Schaub $10 million to quarterback their team in 2014. Matty Pick-Six, Matty Ice Cold, Case Keenum's backup. That Matt Schaub.
MATT ..... SCHAUB.
And they didn't just trade a draft choice for him. They gave him a hero's welcome, 2014 style, complete with self congratulatory tweets from the organization, pictures of Schaub proudly sporting the silver and black, and a press conference which will live on YouTube forever (You do realize, Raiders, that shit is forever, right?) where words like "winner" and "championship" were used by and about Matt Schaub.