Wanna Buy Pork-Coated Bullets in Case You're Attacked by a Terrorist?
Texas is renowned as a gun-lover's paradise, and firearm enthusiasts in Houston are fortunate to have a vast array of gun shops to choose from -- but unfortunately, if you want pork-laced ammunition to fend off a crazed jihadist, you'll have to order it from the clear-minded, level-headed folks at the Idaho-based Jihawg.com.
Screenshot from Jihawg.com The perfect gift for the knuckle-dragging dipshit in your life.
An alert Hair Balls reader sent us the link, and at first we thought it was a joke. But no, the company sells "pork infused ballistic coating" that's "endorsed by Uncle Ham." The thinking (if it can be called that) is that shooting a terrorist with this ammo "will prevent their attaining entrance into heaven."
The "porcine coating" is a "natural deterrent to the ever growing threat of radical Islam and sharia law." (We hear this is an especially big problem in Idaho).
Of course, you'll need to hone your skills, so Jihawg sells paper targets with nifty drawings, like a bearded, robed, AK-47-wielding "terrorist" with a unibrow and pig's nose standing under a headline that reads "Put Some Ham in MoHAMed." (Another suggests you "Do 72 Virgins A Favor," which isn't logically consistent with the company's mission statement, because the whole point of the pork bullets is that the deceased doesn't go to heaven. But we digress).
You can also show your anti-jihadist leanings via caps and koozies. God help us all.