Zapruder Analysis of Insane Alabama Woman Attacking Sooner Fans

Categories: Game Time, Sports

Do NOT f*** with Bama Mom!
Oftentimes, when it comes to Zapruder analysis of viral fan-fighting videos, we have virtually no back story, no participant names, so it leaves us (well, leaves me) to fill in the blanks. Pseudonyms, contrived trigger events, these are hallmarks of the genre.

I do what I can.

But sometimes a video comes along whose action is not only special, but for which we also are able to assemble the actual storyline, with real names, with real events leading up to the explosion.

Today is that day.

College football's bowl season, specifically Thursday's Oklahoma upset of Alabama in the Sugar Bowl, has given us our first Fan Fighting League gift of the fan-fighting season (which is 365 days long, incidentally). And this one is a deluxe version, complete with footage of the pre-fight seeds being planted, and post fight commentary from the two parties involved, almost like a director's cut.

So without further ado, meet Michelle Pritchett!

She is a photographer from Sweet Water, Alabama, a wife and mother of what appears to be three children, and above all else, a diehard Alabama football fan! YEEEE HAW! ROLL DAMN TIDE!

Pritchett was in attendance at the Sugar Bowl last week with her family, and as happens sometimes at these sporting events, the back and forth between her and the opposing fans nearby got a little heated. How heated?

Well, "double birds" heated. If there were a WWE-style tease vignette, like those standing shots they show of a wrestler when his match is coming up after the commercial, this would be it for Pritchett...

Yes, that sultry vixen in the houndstooth blouse who is flipping off the amateur cameraman is Pritchett. (By the way, odds that Pritchett owns a houndstooth thong are -350; odds she is wearing it in these videos are -200.)

Her opponent?

Well, that would be the amateur cameraman, and his name is Michael Connolly. He's an Oklahoma Sooner fan who recounted his version of the events that led up to the explosive confrontation you're about to see:

"At the beginning of the game, they were kind of talking s--. They did an "SEC" chant right after the first touchdown of the game, and we all thought we were screwed at that point. So once we started winning, they shut their mouths and my crew of 6-10 people just started talking a lottttt of s--, specifically me and my friend who you can see waving the towel in the background of the video.

At one point she went up to get a beer, and was kind of talking s-- to us when she got back. She just kept flicking us off and stuff during the game. A few times, my friend yelled in the direction of her group of 'Bama fans, 'I yell 'Roll Tide' when I eff my cousin,' but since she was the only one standing it seemed like it was directed only at her.

At this point her 16-year-old son, who weighs about 120 pounds, told us to come up and fight him. We were like, 'No, come down here.'"

And that's where this Zapruder "No, come down here," with Michelle Pritchett taking Michael Connolly up on his offer. Let's go to the film, followed by the Zapruder analysis:

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She should have smeared banana in his face and smashed a coconut over his head.  It could have been a shoot for Bam'ers Pit.


You get more special points by bringing up the tea bag (small letters) dude from 2012. That's not one of those things that works its way back into conversation unless the conversation is about Alabama fans.


It's not St Patty's Day.

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