Alternative Appearances and Destinations for the Astros Caravan

Categories: Sports

Artist rendering of the Astros Cara-vans...we assume.
In an effort to explain to fans throughout Texas, Oklahoma and Louisiana what an Asher Wojciechowski is, the team sent caravans of players and staff on a 31-city, seven-day road trip this month. With three straight 100-loss seasons under their belts and still no TV deal, just the act of players standing in front of would-be fans and saying, "Hi, I'm Carlos Corporan and I'm a Houston Astros catcher," is significant.

Looking over the list of cities, they clearly have their bases to speak. From south Texas to Oklahoma into Louisiana and out into the Hill Country, fans are getting to find out that there is a baseball team in Houston called the Astros.

But, I got to thinking that maybe they skipped a few possibilities for locations that could land them even more fans. Maybe not this year, but perhaps they can save them for next year's caravan. If they still have no TV deal and lose 100 games again, however, they might need whatever van or bus they used as a getaway vehicle to run from the flaming torches or the crushing apathy.


Ok, well, just to the north of there anyway. I mean, why go to an army reserve base or Sam Houston State University when you can hit up a prison? There is a group of captive fans that are just dying for something to do 182 days out of the year. Sure, they can't make it to games and they probably don't get Comcast, but they can read papers and maybe catch a game on the radio. Plus, if a particular umpire costs them a game or two, they will have resources for taking care of him once the season is over.

Suggested Activity: Orbit delivers the last meal to a death row inmate.

Corpus Christi

With so many minor league players having just been called up to the major leagues on the anticipated training camp roster, why not visit an old stomping ground for many of them? The AA affiliate Corpus Christi Hooks (aka Houston Astros 2016 roster) will give guys a glimpse of who will be replacing them in a couple seasons.

Suggested Activity: Batting practice at Whataburger Field. Never too early to start.

Rural East Texas

Nothing says "exciting" like a trip through a handful of some of east Texas's most infamous meth labs. Amateur chemists and guys with no teeth like baseball too. Plus, in these places carrying bats isn't just allowed, it's encouraged.

Suggested Activity: Have Matt Albers and Jim Crane re-enact a scene from Breaking Bad. Albers could make a good Pinkman.

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My top 5 for the Astros (permanent) Caravan destination would be:

1.  Mexico City -  it's time to give our friends to the South their own team

2. New Jersey - they already have the NFL teams we should give them their own MLB team

3. Vancouver - The Blue Jays are very lonely being the only one

4. Salt Lake City - In such a beautiful area the players would be at peace, peaceful losers that is

5. Nashville - Trade the Astros for the Titans -  Reliant is only used 8 out of 17 weeks per season plus between the 2 teams 10 win season would not be a far reach that's 10-22 not 10-6 

Bonus location - If you can find Drayton's imaginary Virginia buyers maybe they are still interested the Astros

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