Zapruder Analysis of the Drunk Santa Brawl at SantaCon 2013
For centuries now, people of all ages, races, creeds and geography have loved to drink. Not all of
And brawling! us you, but a lot of us you. Wine, beer, hard liquor, illegal moonshine, as long as it has alcohol in it, fill 'er up!
To that end, it never ceases to amaze me the various ways that we will decorate a drinking binge and call it something else. A "pub crawl" is really just a multi-bar drinking binge. A drinking game is just an organized drinking binge with rules. A "pub crawl" for charity is just a rationalization.
And then there's SantaCon, which is really just a drinking binge disguised as a costume party with some holiday cheer sprinkled in.
For those of you who don't know what SantaCon is, don't feel bad. I didn't know what it was either until my girlfriend sent me the video below. Doing the research, as best I can tell, SantaCon is a New York City-based, costumed pub crawl designed to a) give drunks a reason to drink (because there's no nobility in just sitting down and getting hammered to get hammered anymore), b) perhaps sing some Christmas carols (but more in that "yo ho ho" pirate-type, swaying slur than in true yuletide choir fashion), and c) ogle a bunch of sexy elf outfits.
All in all, a pretty good way to spend a weekend, I'd say, so long as the tidings of joy remain, well, joyful.
But it is a pub crawl, so we are bound to get some chicanery, perhaps a little extramarital nuzzling and maybe even some public urination. But we would hope that the fisticuffs are kept to a minimum.
Well, not all Christmas wishes come true.
It's not easy "making all those toys" (SantaCon insider lingo for "drinking a shit ton"); it can be stressful. Alas, at SantaCon 2013, Santa -- well, like a half dozen of them -- finally snapped.
I'm not sure what touched off this street fight on Saturday night; I just know it was spectacular. Let's take a look and then Zapruder this bad boy, shall we?