Google's Most Searched Athletes of 2013 Shows We Love to Consume Dark, Miserable Stories

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Photo by Erik van Leeuwen via Wikipedia
No. 1 for all the wrong reasons.
"Mostly I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world everyday. There's too much of it. It's like pieces of glass in my head all the time. Can you understand?" -- John Coffey, The Green Mile

I understand, John Coffey. I really do.

(And trust me, I realize, given the fact that John Coffey was able to heal a trampled mouse by blowing on him, heal "boss' peckah" by grabbing Tom Hanks' junk, and suck a grapefruit sized tumor out of a woman's head, that I should probably just go with what he says.)

But all due respect, it would appear based on the Google analytics of sports searches in 2013 that we as a society are not tired of the pain at all. In fact, we find the pain downright refreshing! "Honey, pass me those pieces of glass so I can jam them in my head!"

Indeed, it would appear that not only do we tolerate pain and ugliness, we actually search it out. To that end, here are Google's top five most searched for athletes for the year 2013:

5. LANCE ARMSTRONG, disgraced cyclist and steroid abuser
2013 kicked off with a bang, as the multiple time Tour de France winner (and widely assumed steroid abuser throughout his career) went on Oprah Winfrey's show and admitted pretty much everything we all already knew -- Lance Armstrong was super fueled by performance enhancing drugs to help win all of those yellow jerseys. Not just that, but he also admitted to being a big meanie, conceding that he bullied people and frivolously sued accusers throughout the years.

4. KEVIN WARE, Louisville basketball player whose leg snapped in two
Prior to March 31, 2013, only diehard Louisville Cardinal fans and college basketball junkies knew who Kevin Ware was. That is until the Louisville Cardinal guard jumped out to contest a three pointer against Duke in an Elite Eight game in the NCAA Tournament and landed awkwardly, snapping his lower leg into a gruesome, letter-L shaped contortion. Players nearby had to look away, some of them in tears. Fans sitting courtside were practically driven to vomit. Naturally, in 2013, it made Ware the fourth most searched athlete of the year...



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