Zapruder Analysis of This Snapshot of a Forlorn Texans Sideline on Sunday

Categories: Game Time, Sports

Every picture tells a story.
"Their faces tell you everything." -- Mike McD, Rounders

The Texans' futility in the second half of games during this eight-game losing streak has been well documented. Two touchdowns in eight halves of football (47 possessions in all), it really doesn't get much more meager than that.

How are the players and coaches internalizing this as it's unfolding? It's a logical question. If you look them in the eyes and read the body language, what does it say?

Unfortunately, at home games, it's almost impossible to do either because of angles and distance, and even in the year 2013, with a thousand cameras in the stadium, there still doesn't exist an option for television where we can control the vantage point we watch from or peep alternate angles.

I want to know -- are the players confident? Fearful? Apathetic? Angry?

Well, thanks to the magic of high-resolution digital photography, we can now peep the Texans' sideline, even just for a snapshot moment.

And on Sunday, we did.

Thanks to my man Groovehouse, here is a shot of the Texans' sideline with just a few minutes to go in the game Sunday against the Raiders. We don't know the exact moment in the game, except that the picture was taken around 3:28 p.m. Also, based on the personnel on the sideline, the offense is obviously on the field.

Given what has gone on all season long with this team and what had transpired up until that point on Sunday (and, dear God, what was about to transpire just minutes after this), we can only guess what each Texans employee in this picture was thinking at this exact moment.

So let's do that! Let's read some minds! If comic strip "thought bubbles" were over the heads of each guy in this picture, what would they say? Here we go (from left to right):

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Well, this too shall pass...


glacially moving mope who cratered our season in the first place...  HAHAHAHAHAHA!

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