Zapruder Analysis of LSU Head Coach Les Miles Fantasizing About Thanksgiving Dinner

Categories: Game Time, Sports

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Oh, Les Miles.
I wasn't around for the invention of Thanksgiving, but I'm fairly certain that, at its forefront, it had a purpose that paid homage to our forefathers who paved the way for us as Americans to have a better life.

I think that was the original reason for the holiday. Pretty sure.

Somewhere along the way, though, Thanksgiving devolved (evolved?) into a reason to overload on turkey, stuffing, bread, cranberry sauce, and a stray vegetable here and there, before passing out in a tryptophan coma on a recliner in front of the broadcast of another ass kicking of the Detroit Lions.

It's standard selfish, ugly American stuff, and to be clear, I have no problem with it. You know who else doesn't have a problem with it?

LSU head football coach Les Miles, that's who!

On Monday, Les Miles met with the media to discuss the Tigers' upcoming game with the Arkansas Razorbacks this Friday. For years, the game against Arkansas has been a rivalry (based in geography more than anything else) where they play for some trophy shaped like a boot.

(NOTE: If you think your school has a rivalry with another school, ask yourself this: "Do we play for a trophy shaped like a random, scuffed up noun that you would find in Fred Sanford's front yard?" If the answer is "No," then you do NOT have a rivalry. Golden boot, brass spittoon, pewter dildo...whatever. If you're drawing a flow chart and the answer to the random noun question is "NO," the "rivalry" discussion ends. Sorry, people, I don't make the rules.)

The game this Friday (which, as an aside, I will be in attendance at...yeah, you don't care, I know) is expected to be one of the more lopsided ones in the history of the rivalry, with LSU favored by more than three touchdowns, which is saying something because this LSU team is in the bottom third of Miles-coached teams at LSU. The first iteration of the Bret Bielema Era Hawgs are that bad.

So with a soft opponent on the horizon, Les Miles can let his hair down at his weekly press conference and answer some random non-football questions. (As opposed to Miles's press conferences leading up to more difficult opponents where, frankly, he would do the exact same thing.)

On Monday, Les was asked a simple question about his favorite Thanksgiving food, and what transpired was Chapter 317 in the box set of YouTube greatness that is one Leslie Edwin Miles:

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