This Weekend's Best Bets: Brooke Hogan's Engagement to Dallas Cowboy Crumbles

Categories: Game Time, Sports

Photo by Travis Isaacs
Brooke Hogan, best bet?
If there has been one subtle development in the world of wagering that has been a true godsend (because God doesn't have enough on his plate, He must send things to degenerate gamblers), it's been the addition of non-sports wagers to the various betting windows (actual and online) around the world.

No longer is it just football, basketball, baseball and such that we can get down on. Now we can throw down our hard-earned dollar on things like lottery results, opening weekend box office revenue for movies, and reality television shows like The Voice.

Logically, the next step in all of this is the ability to wager on the length of celebrity engagements or marriages. This has to happen.

Which brings me to Brooke Hogan.

Brooke Hogan is best known for a couple of things:

1. She is the daughter of professional wrestling legend Hulk Hogan, and is so tied to him from an image standpoint that she publicly goes by her father's phony stage surname "Hogan." I guess I can't blame her for that, as it would be very hard to land Tier D record deals going by Brooke Bollea (Hogan's real surname), although Brooke Bollea is a decent porn name, which is a segue into my next bullet point...

2. ...not only is Brooke tied to her father from a marketing and business endeavor standpoint (she appeared regularly on the TNA wrestling television show with her dad), but it goes a very, very creepy step further -- go Google "hulk hogan brooke lotion." Go it....okay, you back? Sufficiently creeped out? Yeah, Hulk Hogan and his daughter seem a little too close. And it doesn't help my stomach that Brooke is a damn near carbon copy of her mother, Linda, who Papa Hogan divorced a few years ago, right around the time the "lotion pics" surfaced. It's almost like Hulkster was trading in for a newer model of his then current wife. Only it was his daughter. Way past

3. Final add on Brooke: If a Hollywood diva type like her was going to be engaged to someone in the world of sports (other than her dad), it would probably be a Dallas Cowboy, so it's appropriate that in June, Brooke Hogan became engaged to Dallas Cowboys center Phil Costa. Let's face it, Brooke Hogan is kind of the Phil Costa of Hollywood -- fairly insignificant and with a low center of gravity.

Bringing this all back around to my original point on "relationship wagering," yesterday reported that Costa and Hogan were breaking off their engagement. (Cue Hulk Hogan doing a creepy Snoopy dance in front of his computer reading that news.)

If I could have gotten some action on the engagement of the privileged, plastic daughter of a celebrity (whose daddy issues probably need their own chapter in a parenting manual) to a nondescript Dallas Cowboy lineman fizzling before the year ended, dammit, I'd be out of this hole I've dug for all of us betting on, y'know, actual sports this season.

Come on, Vegas. Let's get these marriage props going, at least before Miley Cyrus gets engaged!

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