With the Texans at Rock Bottom, It's Time to Clean House, Bob.
"We suck." -- Andre Johnson, Texans wide receiver
Photos by Groovehouse You listening, Bob?
And with those two words, Andre Johnson proved himself to be the most lucid and honest voice that matters inside the entire Texans football operations hierarchy.
We suck. Indeed.
You thought four straight games with a pick six from your starting quarterback was as low as you could go, right, fans?
Then the St. Louis game happened, and a 25-point thrashing (as a nine-point favorite) later, you realized that you hadn't stopped plummeting. But this was it, this had to be rock bottom, right?
Last week arrived, and along with it came another home loss as a huge favorite to an Oakland Raiders squad that was starting an undrafted rookie in his debut. This had to be rock bottom, right?
Um, wrong again.
Like everything else that's happened to this team from about the time they slipped on those letterman's jackets and preened for the Internet last December, you are just wrong. They are just wrong. This whole thing is just wrong.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
I am happy to say, though, that Sunday afternoon, just after the final whistle blew on a 13-6 loss (yes, another home loss as a double-digit favorite) to a Jacksonville team that is so bad that, well...so bad that they were ten-point underdogs to the Texans, we have now unequivocally reached the nadir for this franchise, this coaching regime, this general manager and this owner.
The whole damn thing needs to be torn down. To quote the warden in Shawshank Redemption, not tomorrow, not after breakfast....NOW.
If you're wondering what Rock Bottom looks like (yes, we may as well give it proper-noun status), it's filled to about half capacity, it fires off celebratory cannons after field goals, it celebrates incomplete passes like they're game-changing turnovers and it's where wins are finally far more detrimental to the big picture of your franchise's future than losses are.
At this point, every Texans loss is a step toward a higher draft choice, a fired head coach, a fired general manager and a new beginning. Yes, losses are better than wins at Rock Bottom.
At Rock Bottom, there is no need to break down the games anymore afterwards. Brandon Harris getting repeatedly burned, Keshawn Martin having hands like feet, Ben Tate's seven carries for one yard, 218 yards of total offense -- come Monday, none of these things matter anymore. Seriously, which individual play on Sunday actually mattered? None of them.
Because breaking down the minutiae of these games is to imply that there is a greater good in winning, and there isn't, because either this regime won't be intact anymore after this season, in which case the reset button gets hit on everybody anyway, or miraculously some part of this regime returns next season, in which case, you as Texans fans should stop caring, because it means the results don't matter to this franchise, to this owner.