With the Texans at Rock Bottom, It's Time to Clean House, Bob.

Categories: Game Time, Sports

texans-mcnair-jags.jpg
Photos by Groovehouse
You listening, Bob?
"We suck." -- Andre Johnson, Texans wide receiver

And with those two words, Andre Johnson proved himself to be the most lucid and honest voice that matters inside the entire Texans football operations hierarchy.

We suck. Indeed.

You thought four straight games with a pick six from your starting quarterback was as low as you could go, right, fans?

Then the St. Louis game happened, and a 25-point thrashing (as a nine-point favorite) later, you realized that you hadn't stopped plummeting. But this was it, this had to be rock bottom, right?

Wrong.

Last week arrived, and along with it came another home loss as a huge favorite to an Oakland Raiders squad that was starting an undrafted rookie in his debut. This had to be rock bottom, right?

Um, wrong again.

Like everything else that's happened to this team from about the time they slipped on those letterman's jackets and preened for the Internet last December, you are just wrong. They are just wrong. This whole thing is just wrong.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

I am happy to say, though, that Sunday afternoon, just after the final whistle blew on a 13-6 loss (yes, another home loss as a double-digit favorite) to a Jacksonville team that is so bad that, well...so bad that they were ten-point underdogs to the Texans, we have now unequivocally reached the nadir for this franchise, this coaching regime, this general manager and this owner.

The whole damn thing needs to be torn down. To quote the warden in Shawshank Redemption, not tomorrow, not after breakfast....NOW.

If you're wondering what Rock Bottom looks like (yes, we may as well give it proper-noun status), it's filled to about half capacity, it fires off celebratory cannons after field goals, it celebrates incomplete passes like they're game-changing turnovers and it's where wins are finally far more detrimental to the big picture of your franchise's future than losses are.

At this point, every Texans loss is a step toward a higher draft choice, a fired head coach, a fired general manager and a new beginning. Yes, losses are better than wins at Rock Bottom.

At Rock Bottom, there is no need to break down the games anymore afterwards. Brandon Harris getting repeatedly burned, Keshawn Martin having hands like feet, Ben Tate's seven carries for one yard, 218 yards of total offense -- come Monday, none of these things matter anymore. Seriously, which individual play on Sunday actually mattered? None of them.

Because breaking down the minutiae of these games is to imply that there is a greater good in winning, and there isn't, because either this regime won't be intact anymore after this season, in which case the reset button gets hit on everybody anyway, or miraculously some part of this regime returns next season, in which case, you as Texans fans should stop caring, because it means the results don't matter to this franchise, to this owner.



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31 comments
Dan Jones
Dan Jones

You to go f yourself !! You sack of shit

Sterling Meeks
Sterling Meeks

Something that you are clearly deficient in, yourself, tubby. Are you even able to see your little piece of manhood down there with all of that blubber blocking the way and all? LuLz.

Houston Haynes
Houston Haynes

If they hire someone for coach/Gm- Mandatory testosterone levels required!

Joe Sendejo
Joe Sendejo

Losing to jags has sealed Kubiak's fate

Chuck Flournoy
Chuck Flournoy

Nice that McNair isn't floating out the "vote of confidence" I hope he remains silent on this point, frankly. I think Kubiak saves face and retires or takes a few years off or something, for health reasons. The question is, does rick smith get gone too?

Robert Whitley
Robert Whitley

I've been trying to get him fired for years. The Original Fire Gary Kubiak Now Fan Page

Surfer John
Surfer John

No more aggie head coaches.

Did we not learn our lesson with Jack Pardee? Is the collective memory of Houstonfan that short?  Buffalo holla.

Two has been two too many.

Brian Burch
Brian Burch

In all these years Kubiak has proven himself as a So So Coach, nothing to write home about, just a coach, he has to go, no fire no excitement on the sideline, nothing, The guy is a dead stick... He came in a a QB guru and what has he produced? nothing in the form of a elite status QB. McNair had to hire Phillips, I believe a cleaning of the house is in order,, I am sure Kube's is a nice guy, but nice people get let go everyday in this world...

David Alan Turchen
David Alan Turchen

Houston Press needs the housecleaning starting by replacing the person writing the sports commentaries.

Puller58
Puller58

I'd can Smith if only for him throwing Schaub under the bus  at the start of the season with his comment on him needing to "play better."  Translation="Hey, I like my job!"

Sahara Wisdom
Sahara Wisdom

Every team hasa bad season.. YOUR REAL FANS ARE FOR ALLOF YOU!! fROM THE OWNER TO THE OYUNGEST ROOKIE ON THE PRACTICE TEAM.. WE ARE TEXANS WE ARE STRONG..

Wendell Obey
Wendell Obey

No Quarterback could stand behind this Offensive line and it is just that...Offensive! The second level of the defense has been horrible since Dunta left. Of course, it has never been that great anyway. Speaking of Wade Phillips, his defenses are always on the downside after a couple of years after the other teams figure out there is really no discipline in it. This Team does not evolve, thereby a wholesale change is needed. Another thing is they need a strong conditioning coach and the health and strength of the team starts in the Spring. Barring contact injuries, this team has too many conditioning injuries.

gossamersixteen
gossamersixteen topcommenter

You should apply for Smith's job, you'd probably make better decisions 80% of the time.. You've got my vote, and kudos on the well written article (really wish you'd teach those who write the music columns how to write).

Michael
Michael

Yeah, Rick Smith drafted J.J. Watt.  But in the words of Tom Petty, "Even the Losers Get Lucky Sometimes"

Dee Breaux
Dee Breaux

Time for a new Offensive Coordinator.

Jeffrey Aiello
Jeffrey Aiello

hit?? The Texans HAVE BEEN @ rock bottom the entire year! their two wins were flukes... trust me. I think the real issue with the Texans were the unreal expectations that started the year. They'll be better next year, they can't get any worse!

James Fremont
James Fremont

There are two courses of action. 1) Clean house. Perhaps, maybe, POSSIBLY keep Wade Phillips at defensive coordinator. He is not the answer at head coach, in any case. 2) Do nothing, bring back Kubiak, and this franchise will lose this city the way the Oilers did in their final year.

Jeffy Thomas
Jeffy Thomas

the problem is mcnair doesnt fire ppl when he should. If he doesnt let both the GM and coach go I will say he himself is a terrible owner and manager of his team. Team is accountable from the bottom to the very top including coach owner and gm.

Michael Ron Canlas
Michael Ron Canlas

Could the Houston Press (as a media outlet) go ahead and start the Jon-Gruden-as-the-next-Houston-Texans-head-coach rumor/hype/momentum please?

Robusto
Robusto

Yeah, Rick Smith drafted J.J. Watt. And Dexy's Midnight Runners wrote "Come On, Eileen." Where are they now?

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