Titans-Texans: BATTLE-DRINK Makes Its 2013 Home Debut!

Categories: Game Time, Sports

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I'll admit, I never went back and watched the complete telecast of the Texans and Chargers game from Monday night, partially because I just haven't really had time and partially for, well, other reasons.

The good news is that I did finish Season 3 of Breaking Bad last night! So there's that.

My point, though, is that I have not been able to go back and tally up the "per human being" liver damage caused by the season opener's version of BATTLE-DRINK (the Texans BINGO drinking game that's sweeping the nation), but from everything that you all are telling me, it would appear that the carnage was crazy brutal -- like Chris Berman, John McClain, Andre Johnson, and Arian Foster were all dressed in skeleton costumes and doing a Kobra Kai style beatdown on inebriated versions of all of you.

And that's the goal, right? A wicked four day hangover is the sign of a solid game of BATTLE-DRINK!

But now it's a short work week, and like the players themselves, you need to turn right back around and bring your best effort this Sunday as the hated Titans (They stole your team, Houston!!) come to town.

Let's see what changes this week's board has in store:

B3: Antonio Smith ninja celebration
For the first time in his Houston Texans career last weekend, Antonio Smith was not in uniform for a regular season game as he was serving his one game suspension from the league for trying to set Richie Incognito straight swinging Richie Incognito's helmet at him in a preseason game. It ate away at Antonio Smith to not be in San Diego with "his brothers," but along the way, he found peace and forgiveness in his soul:

"Days after that situation I just let it go," Smith told KRIV-TV in Houston and the Houston Chronicle. "I forgave him. I forgave myself. The thing that hurt me the worst is letting down my brothers. That's how I've always been. I've always been the type of person that fights for the things that he loves and that's why I'm so passionate."

Forgiving Richie, forgiving self. Namaste, Antonio. (Wait, wrong Texan. More on that guy in a second. Never mind.)

B4: Promo for "Big Brother"
I don't watch this show, my girlfriend Amy watches it religiously (She even has the subscription to the 24 hour house camera that you can stream on your iPad, or whatever). Honestly, some of her shows I get into through the osmosis of just sitting in the same room working (Law and Order is probably the biggest one in that category.). Big Brother I can almost guarantee I will never, ever find interesting. Oh, by the way, CBS promotes the shit out of it, so....um....drink!

I3: JJ Watt "swatts" a pass
I decided to move this off of the "SHOT" column and into the "CHUG" column. I'm doing you guys a solid. J.J. only had one of these last week. First home game, I'm smelling a multiple "swatt" afternoon from number 99.

I5: Ben Tate waves off Arian Foster
If you've been following the "Arian Foster vs Almost Everybody" saga this week, it's gone something like this:

"Hey, I don't know if you guys have noticed, but man, Arian Foster sure looks like he doesn't really care out there. He looks aloof and disengaged..."

Five minutes later, from the same people....

"Man, Arian Foster, what a jerk, throwing a fit about not going into the game. He should understand what's good for the team!"

It would appear, at this point, that short of rushing for 1,800 yards, there is very little Arian Foster can do to please many of you. Also, it seems like we're on the verge of making psychoanalyzing Arian Foster an Olympic sport.

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