This Weekend's Best Bets: Are You Cooking Meth Yet?

Categories: Game Time, Sports

Place your meth bets!
I don't know how many times I can apologize for my performance so far this season on these Friday picks. My only hope is that you haven't followed me completely into the gambling abyss, and been forced to get a second job like Walter White working the car wash in the first couple episodes of Breaking Bad.

If you did, the good news is that Walter White eventually became a multimillionaire! The bad news is that he had to become a crystal meth manufacturer to do it.

So hopefully, my horrible selections don't have any of you manufacturing meth. Or smoking it, for that matter.

So before we get to my picks, allow me to level set exactly where I am in society's food chain for a moment...

As a 4-14 handicapper through three weeks, there aren't many people I'm doing "better than." However, I can say for sure that I am still doing my job better than John Sterling (Yankees play by play announcer) did his job on this aborted home run call (that wound up being a fly ball out) earlier this week...

Also, I can say without question that I am having a better week than this poor, doughy college student who painted himself up to support his North Carolina Wolfpack and was subsequently captured on playing with his right nipple on national television last night...

And I can say without any hesitation that I am having a better week than the 54 year old guy who tried to exorcise demons from the soul of his 80 year old (EIGHTY!) girlfriend in Florida.

Other than those three, though -- Sterling, Fat Wolfpack Kid, and Florida GILF Slayer -- every other human being on earth is having a better week than Handicapper Sean.

Even meth heads.

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People can get rich betting against this clown's picks.

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