The Worst College Football Weekend Lives Down To The Hype

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For me, college football is one of those things in life that gets the "pizza pass." You know, the old saying that "even bad pizza is still pretty good." Well, that's college football. Even a bad weekend of college football is still pretty good, because, hell, it's college football!

Well, this past weekend certainly put my theory to the test, as we were dealt a college football dance card that fell somewhere between a Little Caesar's and a DiGiorno's on the "Pizza Scale."

Consider the following:

* ESPN's College Gameday, the network's signature Saturday pregame show, made it's way to Fargo, ND, to cover North Dakota State (defending FCS champion best known for knocking off what's going to wind up being a barely bowl eligible Kansas State in Week 1) under the guise of "giving some exposure to the little guy," (and trust me, it was hilarious how many people fell for it) when in fact if there was even one game in the SEC, the state of Florida, or in South Bend involving two ranked teams, they'd have been giving Fargo the dismissive "Do I know you?" treatment post haste.

* ABC carried two regional prime time games on Saturday night. Around half the nation (around half, more on this in a second) saw Kansas State travel to Austin to face the Longhorns. So you had the team who, in the last ten days, has fired their defensive coordinator and had a story leak about their regents approaching Nick Saban to replace their head coach facing off with the team that lost to North Dakota State. Both unranked, both terrible.

* In the other regional matchup, you had Michigan, fresh off a last minute home win over MAC slappy Akron (who would go on to lose this week to Louisiana-Lafayette), against Connecticut, who lost to FCS Towson State in Week 1. By fifteen points.

* There was one game all weekend involving two AP ranked teams, #5 Stanford hosting #23 Arizona State. Stanford would take a 29-0 halftime lead before yawning their way to a 42-28 win.

* There were three games involving teams playing as the biggest favorite in their respective school's history: UCLA (-44 vs. New Mexico State), Ohio State (-50 vs. Florida A&M), and Miami-FL (-59 vs. Savannah St). Ohio State and Miami covered the number by halftime, and UCLA covered by the end of the third quarter (slackers!).

* In fact, shitty games involving top 25 teams were the order of the day on Saturday. In the Saturday games involving only one AP ranked team, seventeen games in all, the favorites were favored by an average of 32.2 points. Favorites wound up going 9-7-1 against the spread. In games with a spread of 30 or more, favorites went 6-2 ATS.

So, yeah, this weekend was definitely going to test our tolerance for cold, stale pizza.

And test it, it did.

There were no upsets in the Top 25 (not that that should be a huge surprise, see above numbers). The closest thing we saw to moderately compelling in terms of final scores was Michigan's trailing Connecticut late in the third quarter 21-7 before scoring 17 entirely predictable, unanswered points to escape with a 24-21 win.

So did anything else happen that can allow college football to keep it's "pizza test" status?

Well, let's see....



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