Miley Cyrus' VMA Performance: The Definitive Zapruder

Categories: Game Time, Sports

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HA!
Back in 2008, my daughter Judy Anne was ten years old. Like most young girls between the ages of 5 and 12 back in 2008, she was an avid fan of the television show Hannah Montana. Like a BIG fan, to the extent that I would find random Hannah Montana songs in the "Purchased" folder on my iPod every time she would come to visit.

(That's the litmus test right there -- if you like an artist enough to clandestinely use your parents' credit cards and hope they don't notice, you're officially a fan.)

So when the musical lineup for the 2008 Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo was announced, and Miley Cyrus (the thespian genius behind the single layered brilliance of a Hannah Montana) was announced as one of the headliners, I did what any good dad would do -- I made those flight reservations (my daughter lives in Chicago) and worked my HLSR contacts for some Miley ducats!

Eventually, the rodeo arrived, Judy Anne flew in, and we went to the show. And we had a great time! Man, I'm an awesome dad!, I thought.

In a parenting career that has had its share of great moments, that concert was a beauty.

So I have to ask, what's the statute of limitations on my extra special parenting moment getting ruined by "grown up Miley" going all "porn star/lap dance" at the VMA Awards Sunday night?

Damn you, Cyrus!

In case you missed it (and honestly at this point, if you have the normal sensibilities of the average reader to my posts on this blog, there's like a 1.2 percent chance you've missed it), Miley Cyrus performed at the Video Music Awards on MTV Sunday night, and on the Twitter "Holy shit!" reaction scale, she registered a solid 8.2, and for all the wrong reasons.

Well, all the wrong reasons if you're a parent of a teenage girl who used to use your credit card to download Hannah Montana songs.

I know this performance happened like four days ago, and that four days exceeds our average attention span on any one occurrence and its aftermath by about three days, but I have a feeling that in, say, ten years, if I were taking requests for "Retro Zapruders", this six minute performance would make the cut.

(FULL DISCLOSURE: I was ready to start breaking this thing down about five minutes after it happened Sunday night, but I was buried Sunday and Monday writing the Texans' preview cover story for next week's print issue. It was worth it, I think you're all going to enjoy that preview article, and the artwork both on the cover and in the piece are excellent. Great staff here at HP. That issue drops on September 5.)

So, without further ado, let's do this! Roll tape...


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3 comments
Ray Hadfield
Ray Hadfield

Hell,she doesn't even look that good or sexy...no hips,no ass,and cannot even walk sexy!!! I'm going back to watching J-Lo.....

wcvemail
wcvemail

That's why you get the big bucks, Sean, for diligently going through that ...stuff... repeatedly. Big bucks - nah, this time, better you than me.

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