Summer of Johnny: Mark May Is the Worst

johnny-manziel.jpg
Let me preface this post by saying that I don't know Johnny Manziel personally, but from what I know of him, I like Johnny Manziel.

I know the same things about Johnny Manziel that most of you know. I know everything that he tweets, Vines and puts up on Instagram. I know the secondhand accounts that people who come within 100 yards of him tweet, Vine and put up on Instagram.

That's about it.

I know more about Johnny Manziel than I ever would have known if he played college football as recently as five years ago, and from what I know, I definitely think 20-year-old Sean would have liked 20-year-old Johnny.

So the carousing, the boozing, the pro player jock sniffing, the pooning, the drunken "woe is me" tweeting, I have no problem with these things. These are all things I did or probably would have done at age 20 had I had access to them. Most of us would have. And for that, I not only don't begrudge, but I like Johnny Manziel.

Deep down, I, we, a lot of us at least, are probably jealous of him.

Now, if Johnny wants to damage his draft stock in the process by getting sent home from the Manning Passing Academy, that's his business. I was 20 once, and trust me, 20-year-old Sean preaching at 20-year-old Johnny would be hypocritical at best.

Mark May, apparently, doesn't see this the same way as I do.

The former Outland Trophy winner at Pitt, former offensive lineman for the Washington Redskins, now turned oft-mocked, lazy narrative-spewing screamer for ESPN's college football coverage is not a fan of Johnny Manziel. He intimated as much in a tweet on Monday after Manziel's latest booze-fueled foibles in Thibodeaux over the weekend:

Wow, what a preachy cock.

Many of us sit back and assess what Johnny's actions mean to his future, and that's completely fair. Assessing is completely fair.

Within the context of A&M's upcoming season or the draft next April, how Johnny's off-season, his addiction to social media and his love for mixed drinks affect those things is a reasonable blog or sports radio topic, no different from his 40 time or his ability to read a disguised blitz. They are all baked into the "Johnny Football" profile, his profile as a player and as a leader.

Of course, May, a voice of reason to an audience of one (and that only when he's gazing longingly at his lips moving in the mirror), can't stop there. No, May is judge, jury and apparently the head of the "wake up call" committee, and he deemed from on high that it was time to bring the nukes. Yep, he brought ALL CAPS on Twitter!

DO YOU HEAR ME, JOHNNY?!? THIS IS MARK MAY!! YOU ARE BRINGING SHAME TO THE GAME!!

My rendition of Mark May in the previous sentence is clearly a paraphrase as it is bereft of mangled sentence structure and includes proper punctuation (and by "proper" I mean "any").

But wait, there's more!


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10 comments
thrownhill
thrownhill

Fucking legit article. Nailed it.

Tyson Scott Malek
Tyson Scott Malek

Manziel is your winner. Mark May had a bad drunken night and made a fool of himself. Manziel's been doing it since High School.

Lee Anne Wilde
Lee Anne Wilde

Carl Starry and Steffani Starry, you might like this.

coachv79
coachv79

Why do I get such a Kenny Powers vibe from this kid?

groncque
groncque

Regardless of May's Tweets, it's time we all faced facts. Johnny Football is an entitled a-hole kid. Period, end of story. He will likely have about as much success in the NFL as another recent Heisman winning QB, who shall remain nameless.

Anse
Anse

If he pulls off another year like last year's, nobody is going to care if he's an asshole. I certainly won't.

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