What Did Dennis Rodman Do to Piss Off North Korea?
To say the United States' relationship with North Korea is less than cordial would be a bit of an understatement. A draconian cesspool of a society with nuclear weapons perpetually aimed our way, North Korea and its leadership (Kim Jong-un, yo!) represent the antithesis of everything the United States stands for.
The Honorable Dennis Rodman, bringing it.
Obviously, in a utopian world, we would be able to settle our differences with Pyongyang in a civilized (read: non-nuclear) fashion. Now, if you were to put together your list of who you'd choose to represent the United States in peace talks with North Korea, what would that list look like?
I would imagine, of course, that it starts with the President. From there, it rolls down to various secretaries of governmental departments. Maybe you even roll through some of our wiser and more respected former national leaders, ex-presidents and the like.
Eventually, you continue to scroll down the list -- captains of industry, then highly respected college professors, then maybe a few television or radio personalities. Eventually, you figuratively thumb through most of society, arriving eventually at the Kardashians and the homeless.
Right about this point, somewhere between the homeless and, say, circus animals, is where you'd probably put Dennis Rodman on your fantasy "North Korean peace negotiator" big board.
So naturally, we all got a gander at this scene of Kim Jong-un entertaining Dennis Rodman (and vice versa) last week:
Yep, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un and the Worm, like peas and carrots.
Apparently, as the story goes, Kim Jong-un grew up a big basketball fan and was a youngster during the second trilogy of the Book of Michael Jordan, the one that cast Rodman as the power forward for three Chicago Bulls title runs between 1996 and 1998. So naturally, when the opportunity came to meet Rodman in person (Dennis made the trip overseas as part of a tour with a few of the Globetrotters), the pudgy little North Korean torture machine managed to take time out of his busy schedule of starving his citizens to watch some hoops with ol' D-Rod.
As you can see from the video above, the whole thing was a big hoot, a veritable laugh a minute. So chummy were Rodman and Kim Jong-un that to the naked eye, it appeared that indeed Rodman had cracked the code on getting North Korea to stand down on the nukes -- basketball, my friends, appeared to be the universal language of peace.
So when Rodman arrived back stateside last weekend, political expert George Stephanopoulos invited him onto his Sunday morning show to give us all the update on when North Korea would be dismantling their nuclear weapons and sending President Obama a fruit basket.
As it turns out, amidst all the chatter about the triangle offense and what Phil Jackson smells like, Rodman's conversation with Jong-un never got around to things like genocide and inflicting third-degree burns.