15 More of the Worst Astros Baseball Cards Ever
Houston Astros 2013 spring training season kicked into high gear this week in Kissimmee, Florida, and fans are ready to see how the team fares in their new American League digs, which more likely than not means copious losses, beer bottles broken over televisions and the testicular fortitude of a snake-charmer to get through nine innings of a game without eating your new hat in frustration.
Thank God that Upper Deck covered Doug Drabek's humongous bulge with that logo.
But hey, it's still the Astros, and we're unrepentant homers who love them whether or not we can name more than three players. Is Jose Altuve still on our team? He is? Cool. I like him because I remembered his name and he is a little person.
This week my thoughts turned once again to the Astros' baseball card legacy. Because I was a shut-in as a child and growing up, my baseball card collection was my best friend, kinda like how porn was when I was in my early 20s.
I found plenty more awful Astros baseball cards to make us laugh for 2013. May I never ever run out of Tony Scott cards to giggle at.
14. The best achievement ever is when your eyebrows and mustache can reach a sort of cosmic equality on your face. If you don't believe in intelligent design after seeing this picture of Dave Meads, you should burn in hell.