J.J. Watt Wedding Cake? Yes, J.J. Watt Wedding Cake!!



I mean...I love boobs. I love cake. But boobs made out of cake?? Are you kidding me?!? God bless you, Stephanie Poe!

5. As for the cake itself, this is where I will get a little bit nitpicky. Don't get me wrong, the attention to detail is amazing, right down the to the Nike swoosh on the jersey and the faint hints of bulging muscles along Cake J.J.'s forearms and biceps areas. However, I would have liked it more if they didn't cover Cake J.J.'s hands with Mickey Mouse's cartoon white gloves. Also poor Cake J.J.'s fingers are bent backwards. Unless there is a double jointedness possessed by the actual Watt that I'm unaware of (let's face it, at this point, I think we're all fairly certain the real J.J. Watt is actually a robot, so his being double jointed would be nothing), I'm having to suspend a bit of disbelief there.

4. Also, I was very disappointed to see that the cake did not have J.J. Watt's face frosted onto the part where his face would normally be. Not because J.J. Watt is ruggedly handsome in real life, but because they instead just covered the face with black frosting, which makes it look more like he is preparing to be interrogated by terrorists than preparing to play the Bengals in a home playoff game.

3. The cake itself is freaking huge! I mean literally, HUGE. Look at the picture of the happy couple slicing up Cake J.J. one plateful at a time:


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8 comments
Sancho
Sancho

Dude better enjoy it while he can.  We all know things change after the wedding.  He might have had a JJ Watt cake, but before he knows, she'll have him going to Home and Garden show on Sunday afternoon rather than actually watching the Texans.  And she'll always have this cake as leverage- 'honey you have to take me to (insert any un-manly event here). Remember how I let you have that JJ Watt groom's cake?" Poor bastard will never know what hit him.

Angela Wright
Angela Wright

Would be nice to know who actually made the cake. Bakers name please. Can't believe you didn't even give any credit to the bakery/baker who made this cake.

Rebecca Ellen
Rebecca Ellen

It's odd looking but what an awesome groom's cake. Oh and JJ does know about this -- he has even visited with Stephanie (the Mr. wasn't at home). Superman left an autographed football and a video message for the groom.

Kristen Kimira Scott
Kristen Kimira Scott

Creepy. That's the first word that popped into my mind when I saw this on the news.

Kylejack
Kylejack topcommenter

So all female readers 18 - 95 are straight, and attracted to white, athletic guys named J.J. Watt, and are also all moms you would like to fuck? If it's a joke, I don't get it.

Kylejack
Kylejack topcommenter

@SanchoWell, those seem like some unhealthy assumptions about marriage and gender.

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