Jacoby Jones' Appearance On Jimmy Kimmel Live Was Jacoby-tastic!! (w/ VIDEO)


2:23 -- Kimmel brings up the lights going out during the game, and at this point Jacoby is completely comfortable on air, so he goes into a story about how he was glad the lights went out because he was tired and vomiting on the sidelines, including several vomiting sound effects. Jacoby, at this point, clinched at least a 7 on a scale of 1 to 10 on the entertainment scale.

2:50 --Asked about coming back to New Orleans (his hometown) for the biggest game of his career, Jacoby shows that despite the clownish antics and occasional brain fart, he is a pretty smart dude -- he delegated ticket duties to his mom! Well done. Also, his mom cooked 150 plates of gumbo, potato salad, and macaroni and cheese (seven different types of cheese!) for the entire Ravens team. Jacoby's mom needs to cash in on this fifteen minutes of fame and call the Food Network. NOW.

3:56 -- Kimmel shows a picture of Jacoby's bare back which is covered in a tattoo of the New Orleans skyline, and all I can think is "Thank God for him he didn't put Houston on there."

4:20 -- Kimmel asks Jacoby about his touchdown dances and asks if he practices them. Jacoby, not surprisingly, answers "DUH!" and then proceeds to talk about how he practices them in the mirror and asks for his teammates' input. Keep in mind that Jacoby has a total of 22 career touchdowns (including the playoffs) in six NFL seasons, so I would suppose he should be practicing his dances in his spare time since they rarely get broken out during games.

4:55 --Kimmel semi-jokingly offers Jacoby a spot on the next season of Dancing With The Stars, to which Jacoby gives an affirmative answer that involves polar bears taking a shit in the water or something. Seriously, no joking here, if Jacoby Jones' people aren't following up on the Kimmel "DWTS offer," even if it was a joke on Kimmel's part, then they are failing their client. We had Emmitt Smith on our show on Radio Row in New Orleans and he said he has just as many fans post-retirement because of his participation in DWTS as he does from being a Hall of Fame football player. (Donald Driver, Jerry Rice, and others have said the same thing.) DWTS raises your profile exponentially and allows for a pop culture crossover that can be noteworthy and, at its best, very lucrative.

And here's the thing: Jacoby Jones ain't Emmitt Smith. Or Jerry Rice. Or Donald Driver. He's a fraction of the football player those guys were, and not nearly the star that any of them is or was. Jacoby Jones' chance to strike gold is now. Not next week, not next month. NOW. He will be an afterthought in a few weeks, and come next year, when the blackjack shoe of life has stopped spitting out aces and face cards, he will be back to being a clownish, fairly popular, explosive return guy who can't catch a cold as a wide receiver and who nobody outside of Houston or Baltimore gives a shit about.

Of course, I say this and now Jacoby will probably be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize later this month.

Such is life on Jacoby's Revenge Tour 2013.

Listen to Sean Pendergast on 1560 The Game from 6 a.m. to 11 a.m. weekdays, and watch the simulcast on Comcast 129 from 6 a.m. to 8 a.m. Also, follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanCablinasian.


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4 comments
TheTruth2013
TheTruth2013

I imagine for good measure in JJ's Revenge Tour 2013 he will run a kick back on the Texans this fall.  If the schedule makers decide to slap the Texans around and schedule the Texans first game with the Ravens this fall I am sure the Ravens will have a Super Bowl ring ceremony before the game or at halftime just to make sure Boobiak and crew are watching.  And perhaps they will get a friendly reminder that will be the closest they get to a SB ring ceremony with the current crew in charge.

FattyFatBastard
FattyFatBastard topcommenter

It's like Trindon Holliday.  Neither one worked well on this team.  Perhaps Flacco had better chemistry than Shaub, who ironically is THIS year's Jacoby.

thepresident
thepresident

did Jacoby get a blow job from your wife or something? what do you have against this guy? he's a winner; you're a loser. now move on.

sean.pendergast
sean.pendergast

@thepresident Ha ha, my obsession with Jacoby is apparently only surpassed by your obsession with my obsession with Jacoby. Are you related to him? (By the way, thanks for clicking on the piece. Really all I care about.)

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