Jacoby Jones' Appearance On Jimmy Kimmel Live Was Jacoby-tastic!! (w/ VIDEO)

Categories: Game Time, Sports

The revenge tour continues.
Staying up late on Thursday nights in February is nothing new to me, as I'm one of those NBA sickos that will stay up till one in the morning to see what Charles Barkley has to say on TNT's postgame show. However, yesterday was a little different.

Yes, I stayed up into the wee hours Thursday night, but it wasn't to watch the Chuckster, it was to watch Jacoby Jones' post-Super Bowl appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live.

And Jacoby did not disappoint.

Going into the interview I knew there were only a couple things we could completely count on from Jacoby -- mangled English (a lock) and a lot of smiling (who wouldn't smile after a Super Bowl win?). Other than that, this appearance was going to be a crapshoot.

It wouldn't have surprised me to see Jacoby pull off one of the all-time entertaining Kimmel segments, full of personality and about four or five new Jacoby-isms, and it wouldn't have surprised me if the interview was a total dud, flush with six-word answers to each of Kimmel's questions. I've interviewed Jacoby Jones before and gotten both of the above, so I speak from experience.

However, given how Jacoby's whole 2012 season (especially the 2013 postseason) has gone, I should have known that what ended up happening was going to happen: Jacoby was engaging, energetic, and at the end of the segment probably added about a million more fans than he had before.

In short, Jacoby's collective troll of the entire city of Houston, the only place on earth where he still maintains "monster heel" status, continued on national late night television Thursday night.

Here is the video footage, in case you missed it:

A few Zapruder style bullet points from that video:

0:28 -- Jacoby opted for the casual "jeans and black t-shirt" look, the perfect compliment to his Ravens bandana and shades. As someone who wears shorts and a t-shirt to work about four days a week, I'm in no position to criticize Jacoby's wardrobe choice. (Still, I think I just did.)

0:35 -- Jacoby points at his ring finger as if to say "Yeah buddy, who's a champion? Jacoby's a champion!" How's that taste, Houston?

0:59 -- Jacoby explains why he is wearing shades indoors for an interview on national television, and it's because the excitement of being on the Kimmel show has caused a blood vessel to pop in his eyeballs and made then "bloodshot red." "Excitement" could be, ahem, code for any number of things (I'm making the "holds a joint up to mouth" hand gesture right now, for those who can't see me).

I'm not accusing Jacoby of anything, really I'm not, I've just heard some legendary stories of the Kimmel show green room from people who've been on the show that there are plenty of, um, party materials available. That's all. Also, Jacoby is about to spend the next five minutes slurring several of his words. That too.

1:10 -- This exchange just took place:

KIMMEL: You haven't slept much in the last few days, have you...

JONES: (shakes head) Nah, I 'on't sleep...

KIMMEL: You don't sleep?

JONES: YEAH! I sleep! I'm 'onna get my sleep...


1:50 -- Kimmel asks about the 108-yard kickoff return and Jacoby tells the story about how he told the coaches he was going to take it out of the end zone even if it was kicked deep. At this point, in Houston, we were all the way down the rabbit hole: Jacoby Jones is on a national television show explaining a game-changing play he made in the return game. This is where many Texan fans were wishing there was a bizarro version of the Kimmel show that would have invited Jacoby on last year to break down the muff in the Ravens-Texans playoff game.

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I imagine for good measure in JJ's Revenge Tour 2013 he will run a kick back on the Texans this fall.  If the schedule makers decide to slap the Texans around and schedule the Texans first game with the Ravens this fall I am sure the Ravens will have a Super Bowl ring ceremony before the game or at halftime just to make sure Boobiak and crew are watching.  And perhaps they will get a friendly reminder that will be the closest they get to a SB ring ceremony with the current crew in charge.

FattyFatBastard topcommenter

It's like Trindon Holliday.  Neither one worked well on this team.  Perhaps Flacco had better chemistry than Shaub, who ironically is THIS year's Jacoby.


did Jacoby get a blow job from your wife or something? what do you have against this guy? he's a winner; you're a loser. now move on.


@thepresident Ha ha, my obsession with Jacoby is apparently only surpassed by your obsession with my obsession with Jacoby. Are you related to him? (By the way, thanks for clicking on the piece. Really all I care about.)

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