Texans Owner Bob McNair: "We Need to Party More"

Categories: Sports

partybob.jpg
Get off your asses, Houston. It's time to party.
This week while talking to the NFL press, Texans owner Bob McNair was asked about Houston hosting another Super Bowl, and he lamented that Houston doesn't have the same party atmosphere that New Orleans has. Yes, it's true that Montrose isn't exactly the French Quarter, I can admit.

Most promising, though, was McNair's call for Houston to get their rocks off more, so to speak.

"People have to get used to the idea that Houston is a great, fun city. It's recognized as being a blue collar, hardworking town, whereas New Orleans, I don't think that's their reputation," McNair said.

"Houston, maybe we've been too serious for too long. Maybe we need to party more."

Um, fuck yeah, Bob.

I think we can all get behind this.

I call for Mr. McNair to appoint a party committee, inviting Andrew WK to move to Houston. Maybe the Texans can construct a series of riot houses off Kirby and Fairview and in the Heights where people can break windows, start fires in bathrooms, listen to dubstep at ear-bleeding levels and have a staff making jungle juice 24 hours a day.

If you call yourself a faithful Houstonian and you want our city to host another Super Bowl, you should start taking Fridays off and turn Thursday evenings into nights of debauchery. Fuck a hangover. Rehab is for quitters.

Shit happens when you party naked. Drive it like you stole it. Drop things as if they are hot. Party until you vomit.

Let's open up the decrepit Astrodome to electronic music festival promoters. Hire Skrillex, Girl Talk and all their buddies to turn the Dome into the world's largest indoor EDM venue. Hire local street artists to refashion its facade into a giant canvas.

"Dome Raves" will become things of international legend.

That plot of land where AstroWorld was is an eyesore, when it could be a casino. The kind of casino where they have foam parties hosted by Jay-Z monthly and strippers cavort on the overpass into Reliant Park.

Mr. McNair, Houston is ready to party more. As long as you will help foot the bill.

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1 comments
chatalain
chatalain

Let's make Houston more fun! More vice cops raiding clubs! More city and county attorneys suing to shut them down! More parking enforcement cops tagging cars with $230 tickets! More construction in prime areas that cause businesses to open and close in short order.

Hooraay! Who wouldn't want to come party in Houston??

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