Santa Duck Hunter: This is How We Do Holiday Decorations in Texas

Categories: Whatever

santahunter.jpg
There is a common snicker often heard among people who don't live in Texas about the Lone Star State. We like to hunt and fish and eat chili with no beans in it. We wear big cowboy hats and cowboy boots on, like, Tuesdays. We talk funny.

All of those things are true for certain people in Texas. Many of us in cities like Houston try to dispel the myth that we are backward and terribly un-sophisticated. But, even here, we have one of the largest rodeos in the world and drive a LOT of trucks, so rather than abandon who we are altogether, we embrace it.

Some embrace it gently, like the to-the-side, ass-out hug you would give someone you just met who really likes hugs, but it makes you uncomfortable because your family wasn't affectionate with you as a kid, so you do it, but as quickly and awkwardly as possible. Others hold onto it with the death grip of a mother sending her only child on his first trip alone to visit relatives and even though he'll only be gone for a couple days, it feels like she is trying to purposefully break a rib so he will be forced to stay and her gentle sobs into his quilted winter vest (even though it's August and he's going to Dallas) will need to be addressed in therapy years later. Ahem.

Getting back to the analogy, that last hug is what the person who decorated the house in the photo below did with Christmas decorations. He embraced the holy shit out of Texas.


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16 comments
d.a.uhrich
d.a.uhrich

Ever hear of "Chili Con Carne?" Means Chili with meat. Which means Chili was not historically a meat dish, but rather a vegetable dish with chilis.

miss_msry
miss_msry topcommenter

I can't convince my hubby that beans do not belong in chili.

ItsMerryChristmas
ItsMerryChristmas

Awesome! 

BTW, Jeffrey, hunters don't blow anything to bits. If they did, there would be nothing left to eat. DERP

ruthiejsf
ruthiejsf

@sharonmoves @greglopp My favorite area is the loop right around Travis Elementary. There's a 2-D Santa in a spaceship I'm obsessed with.

ruthiejsf
ruthiejsf

@sharonmoves @jeffbalke Yes! Boating, waterskiing, wakeboarding... He says Santa gets bored, too, so he mixes it up every year =)

Lemming
Lemming

@d.a.uhrich  Actually, the original name was Chili Con Carne (not Chili), which meant Chili Pepper with Meat.  It has since been shortened to Chili since everyone knows that the only thing you add is meat.

IfItFlysItDies
IfItFlysItDies

@miss_msry  Explain to him that beans take up valuable real estate that more meat should be in. :)

jeffbalke
jeffbalke topcommenter

@miss_msry Honestly, I think if we put the phrase "beans in chili" in every post on the Houston Press, hits would go through the roof...and comments would follow. :)

jeffbalke
jeffbalke topcommenter

@ItsMerryChristmas Oh, I know. I used to hunt ducks myself way back when I was a kid. Just thought the hyperbole sounded funny. :) Thanks for the comment.

jeffbalke
jeffbalke

.@ruthiejsf Awesome. YOU'RE WELCOME, AMERICA!!!

ruthiejsf
ruthiejsf

@JRCohen He does a different scene every year. The past 3 years have involved a boat. One year Santa was fishing, last year wakeboarding.

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