Why Won't The Texans Open The Roof: We Have 15 Possible Suggestions

Categories: Football, Sports

Reliant Roof.jpg
A rare sighting, Reliant Stadium with an open roof
The Reliant Stadium roof cost approximately $48 million to build. The includes the equipment used to open and shut the roof. You might not know that the roof actually opens since it shut for every event. You might also not know that the Texans have a set of rules for when they will open roof.

The Texans state that if there is no chance of rain, and that if the temperature is between 50 and 80 degrees, then they will open the roof. Only they don't open the roof on days like that, which makes one wonder just why it is the taxpayers actually had to pay the extra costs for a retractable roof that is never retracted.

This past Sunday was a beautiful day. One of those rare days that actually makes living in Houston worth it. The temp started off cool, but warmed as the sun came out, though the temperature never got above 80. Yet the Texans kept the roof shut. Despite their own rules on when the roof should be open or shut.

15. Gary Kubiak was afraid the wind would mess up his hair.

14. The place is supposedly noisier when the roof is closed. However, the loudest stadium in the NFL is supposedly in Seattle, an outdoor facility. Which means maybe the fans should just try shouting a little louder.

13. They wanted Shayne Graham to have perfect kicking conditions, and they were afraid the slightest breeze might cause him to miss field goals.

12. The Texans were using some of USC's deflated balls, and they were afraid Matt Schaub would throw the ball out of the stadium if the roof were open.

11. They were wearing all blue uniforms and they were concerned birds might fly in and crap on them.

10. The Astrodome filed a noise complaint.

9. They will only open the roof for Paul McCartney.

8. It's their roof, and they'll do what they want to, do what they want to, do what they want to.

7. The Texans heard that Jim Deshaies might be leaving, so they thought closing the roof might force their radio voice Marc Vandermeer to stay. On second thought, that might have been a good reason to open the roof so that he can leave.

6. After Jacoby Jones lost the football in the sun in the playoffs last season, they figured there was no need to take a chance on anybody else ever losing the ball in the sun.

5. Matt Schaub's sinuses were really bothering him, and they didn't want to expose him to any outside air.

4. Because, quite frankly, Texans fans are wimps and they whine if they don't get to sit in perfect climate conditions. Even Astros fans can handle a few outdoor games a year you babies.

3. They were afraid that, if the roof was open, J.J. Watt would fly out of the stadium and try to fight crime, and they really, really needed him to stop the Jaguars instead.

2. They forgot where the "open roof" button is located.

1. Hey, it is not like the Texans paid for the retractable roof, so why should they care if it's ever open or not?


Location Info

Map

NRG Stadium

2 Reliant Park, Houston, TX

Category: Music


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3 comments
AmyDrinkie
AmyDrinkie

I wish they would open it for the rodeo.

cepage
cepage

I'm imagining that this started as a Top 10 list. But as John kept reading these to himself, chortling over and over, he exclaimed, "This is comedy gold! I'm on a roll! There's now way I can edit this much zany hilarity down to ten items!"

 

So we were blessed with 15.

Hill
Hill

Considering how many things have already broke; the scoreboard, the turf, lights etc.. there is a decent chance that the roof is simply inoperable.  Reliant Stadium is barely 10 years old and is falling apart, it is like it  was built by Perry Homes.

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