Some Hot Girl-on-Girl Training Videos for HPD's Undercover Treasures Squad (NSFW)

Categories: Crime

For the city to remain safe, HPD must make sure stripper-prostitutes "complete the act."
We got a big kick out of KHOU investigative reporter Jeremy Rogalski's story on some of the questionable tactics undercover HPD vice cops have been using in the city's 100-year-war against titty-emporium Treasures.

Our favorite part was the revelation of a police report from May where "officers negotiated for two dancers 'to engage in oral sex with each other.' But instead of arresting them immediately, the cops 'observed the suspects' doing the sex act and 'waited for this to be completed.'"

Mayor Annise Parker told Rogalski that she was "absolutely" sure that two undercover cops watching two strippers eat each other until completion was a terrific use of taxpayer money. We couldn't agree more, which is why we've found some videos that HPD can hopefully use as training videos.

All Holes No Poles #2


You might be wondering why we wouldn't start the training with the first entry (so to speak) in this educational series -- and it's because we feel these officers are experienced enough to skip the preliminaries and dive right in to what calls an "incredible all-girl fuckfest!"

Boston Baby Dolls #10


We think it's important for any police force to learn how their colleagues in other cities are cracking down on hot girl-on-girl crimes. Why not check in with how the Boston Brothers in Blue are doing in their work targeting "100 % real local amateur housewives and hot single women?"

Asian Transsexual Lesbians


We feel HPD undercover officers have to recognize the incredibly diverse underworld of crime they're infiltrating. Sure, as taxpayers, we definitely want them to sit there and watch disinterestedly while two bleach-blonds commit crime, but what about the Asian transsexuals hiding in plain sight? Officers need to be trained to spot all kinds of perps, not just the usual suspects.

Licking Pussy 12 Ways


There are at least a dozen ways for strippers to engage in this particular nefarious deed, and we want our officers well-versed in every single one of them. For one thing, it would allow them to blend in much easier. An officer could, for example, start off by requesting a "Number Twelve," and then suddenly flip the script for a cool "Number Four."

Fat Farm


This one's for the officers who have to infiltrate Treasures' mid-day shift.

We hope these instructional videos will help the brave HPD officers we pay to watch chicks eat each other out in the future.

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Sadness, these police fellows who go in to corrupt what is natural, to augment what is human, to make sexuality something criminal. We pay for what? Political ambition? A few guys in ties wanting to raise their brand in the local arena of government? Even the vice cops succumb to normality and a tease... they participate, and then make excuses. Why, why? Why do we continue to spend our money on this, of all things malevolent and bothersome here? There are better ways to spend our money than with these officers. Wisdom Ms. Mayor?


Ridiculous that we have a Vice department at all...let alone one that we fund  to lurk around topless clubs drinking and enticing people to commit all sorts of petty crime.


I agree with Ron Paul on this one: it's consensual behavior between adults, it's not harming others, and we have laws on the books already to address the  'collateral damage' like driving under the influence.


 What a great parody. This really is a big waste of taxpayer money. Btw, he's obviously kidding about the Treasures mid-day shift....that's the hottest lunch hour in Houston!

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