Texans-Jets Monday Night Football: A Preview Wrapped in a Drinking Game
O1: Kubiak loses a replay challenge
This would have been one of the biggest locks on the board as recently as last season, with Kubiak sporting a career record on replay challenges equivalent to that of a Saturday morning wrestling jabroni. But times they've changed, to the point where in the last game, Kubiak won a replay challenge and Kareem Jackson had a pick six. Expected intake: Zero shots.
O2: Obama is mentioned
It's election season, so not only will Obama get mentioned, but we might get a halftime interview. Hell, we might get an in-game appearance in the booth. This category could be what takes your night from "pleasantly inebriated" to "liver transplant necessary." Expected intake: 4 shots (2 Obama mentions)
O3: Joe Namath hits on Lisa Salters
Joe Namath has supposedly given up drinking since this incident during a nationally televised Jets game several years ago:
Expected intake: Zero shots.
O4: Tebow loses his virginity to Lisa Salters
Tebow's made it this long, when it finally does happen, I would think he'd try to outkick the "Lisa Salters" portion of the female grid, no disrespect intended. (Poor Lisa Salters, getting mixed into all of this immature speculation and chicanery.) Expected intake: Zero shots.
O5: Joe Namath hits on Tim Tebow
Namath? No. Gruden? Possibly. And THAT would truly be awesome. Expected intake: Zero shots
PREDICTION, Alcohol Intake: 89 sips, 27 gulps, 8 chugs, 2 shotguns, and 4 shots.
PREDICTION, Final Score: Texans 31, Jets 6
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