Boom. Roasted. -- Arkansas Sucks, OSU Cheats(?) : The Monday Morning College Football Roast

Categories: Game Time, Sports

The stench is high in Arkansas
As I type this, I'm sitting in the Reliant Stadium press box after the Texans' 38-14 win over the Titans on Sunday afternoon, and admittedly it's incredibly difficult to focus on writing about college football -- partially because of the four television screens showing the late games and partially because my mind is racing thinking about how special a football season this is becoming.

Two quick thoughts on those Houston Texans and then I'll get down to roasting a few college football thoughts:

1. How good is this Texans team? Well, they won 38-14 and it feels like they have more than enough to correct in practice this week. (And if you want me to come up with one for each area how about interior run defense, short-yardage situations on offense, and trying to bust Trindon Holliday loose for a big return on special teams.)

2. After each game, the media schedules Gary Kubiak and typically four Texan players (whichever four figured most prominently into the game) to meet with the media in the team's amphitheater one at a time. Today, there was Kubiak, and then just two players -- Matt Schaub and J.J. Watt. That was it. While it was probably coincidental, I thought it was appropriate because this is their team now -- Schaub's team on offense, Watt's team on defense. Those are the two most valuable, most indispensable, and flat-out best players for the Texans on either side of the ball. Period.

Okay, a few leftovers from the college football weekend...

Replacement refs, good job, good effort...
Wait, I lied. One more NFL-related note. How excited are teams to have the regular referees back in the fold? Well, for the first time ever in the Texans press box we were handed a one-pager listing all of the officials assigned to the game. I had never seen this happen before. Maybe it's new standard procedure, but I'd like to take it for what I really think it is -- the equivalent of a "welcome back", ticker tape parade in about as buttoned-down a place as there is on the planet, the Texans' press box.


Check out our Texans slideshow.

Okay, NOW onto some college football....

The Ohio State Buckeyes defeated a reeling Michigan Spartan squad 17-16 in East Lansing, sending them spinning out of the top 25 and keeping alive the very real possibility that the Big Ten's best team in 2012 will be done with their season in late November because of probation. But the big story coming out of this game was Michigan State's defensive coordinator Pat Narduzzi claiming that Ohio State edited the game film it was required to send in advance of the game so Michigan State could prepare for the Buckeyes. Narduzzi contends that the Buckeyes' crack videography staff removed all the shifts and motions from the offensive film, leaving behind only the portions from the snap and the actual play. On top of that, the Spartans purportedly had to contact other programs who'd played the Buckeyes to get correct film.

It's my contention, by the way, that this is exactly how soap operas are pieced together. I think every soap opera is really just a porno movie with the actual porno scenes edited out, leaving behind the horrific amateur acting, flimsy story lines, and dimestore cinematography.

As for the Spartans, I'm fairly certain that the Buckeyes' defense could have informed the MSU offense exactly which defensive schemes they were running before each play and the Spartans would STILL only score 16 points.

Boom. Roasted.

Location Info


Robertson Stadium

3874 Holman St., Houston, TX

Category: General

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