Big Tex: We Offer Our Six Replacements, Starting With Willie Nelson

Categories: Texas

We've got substitutes ready to go
As you've no doubt heard by now -- or, if you're a Texan, felt like a great disturbance in the force -- State Fair's Big Tex burned to its frame today.

The icon for generations of fairgoers was taken down by an electrical short, so at least we don't have terrorists to blame.

But it's simply too much to ask people to go to the Fair and not be greeted, if not by Tex then by some adequate fill-in.

Luckily, we're here to offer Plan B. And no, it's never "too soon" when it comes to Tex and the Fair.

Illustrations by Monica Fuentes
6. Willie Nelson
Just don't look too closely at what he's using as a pointer. We're sure he'll be more careful with the fire aspect than some unthinking electrical short was.

5. Tony Romo
All fumbled footballs can be kept by lucky fans as souvenirs. Unless they're run back for touchdowns by the opposition.

4. Matthew McConaughey
"It's Bongo Day at the Fair. Please remove all clothing, after you've visited the Willie Nelson kiosk."

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miss_msry topcommenter

I vote Willie for Pres. and Matthew as VP, should Willie become incapacitated.


@HoustonPress only someone in Houston would think of something this stupid. #RIPBigTex


@HoustonPress I would go to the State Fair to see JR as #BigTex

Kylejack topcommenter

No Urban Cowboy statue? I am disappoint.

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