Football! This Weekend's Best Bets, "Taking The Escalator" Edition (Also, Praise For UConn's Jim Calhoun)

escalaUSERato.jpg
Escalator to the gambling stars
Sitting and watching Jim Calhoun's retirement press conference as I type this post, and I got to thinking....it's nice to build something.

In 1986, Jim Calhoun inherited a UConn men's basketball program that was 12-16 the year before and to that point had won just four NCAA tournament games in its rather lackluster history. At that point, UConn was more worried about relevance in its own state (NOTE: The Hartford Whalers were straight blown' up at that time.) than becoming a national power.

But, lo and behold, on Calhoun's watch UConn became a national power, winning three national titles with three different core groups of players (1999, 2004, 2011) and sending countless players onto NBA stardom.

Jim Boeheim called Calhoun the "greatest builder in college basketball history." And that's how I want all of you to think of me -- the greatest builder of bankrolls in gambling history. 5-1 last weekend! We must build on this!

Let's Calhoun this thing! Here we go....

The UConn press conference Thursday afternoon was part goodbye to Calhoun and a welcome to newly promoted Husky assistant coach (and longtime NBA point guard) Kevin Ollie. Truth be told, Ollie stole the show on Thursday, showing emotion and passion that made me want to run through a brick wall for him at home. Unfortunately, my home doesn't have any brick walls, and even less fortunately, my flimsy drywall now has a "pudgy middle aged man"-shaped hole in the wall. Lose-lose.

Ollie had several great quotes in the news conference, but my favorite might have been when he was asked about what will undoubtedly be a difficult 2012-2013 season for UConn's men's team, which is depleted by transfers and saddled with an NCAA tournament ban for past Huskies' academic sins. He said the team will "take the stairs, not the escalator," implying that the stairs are the hard way and escalators are for cowards...or pudgy middle aged men.

As inspirational as that quote was, I ain't gettin' any younger, so in the interest of expediency, and with apologies to Coach Ollie, I am taking the gambling escalator. Yes, I will be preying on a few easy "OVER" games this weekend -- games where the tackling and defense promise to be so nonexistent that the numbers on the scoreboard should be constantly escalating, like that billboard in Times Square that tracks the second by second increase in our national debt.

And those games are....

Houston/UCLA OVER 74 1/2
The Coogs gave up 30 points to a team playing its first FBS game in school history, and followed that up with a 56-point defensive performance against Louisiana Tech. They replaced both starting safeties this past week and essentially turned their practices into American Idol for positions on a porous defense. UCLA's Jonathan Franklin leads the nation in rushing (215 yards per game) by 40 yards over the next closest running back. Do the math. Escalator, baby!

Rice/LOUISIANA TECH OVER 66
The team that Jonathan Franklin opened the season against with 215 yards versus the team that was scored 56 on the Coogs last weekend. (These first two picks are so incestuous!) The perfect storm! Let's keep escalatin'!

Saints/PANTHERS OVER 51
In their two games last season, these two teams combined for 57 in the first game and 62 in the second game. Robert Griffin III threw for 320 yards and ran for 42 yards last weekend against this horrific Saints defense, and Cam Newton is like a souped-up version of Griffin. Drew Brees put up 32 points last weekend despite having his worst game since the thing on his face was dark brown. We take the last flight up on the escalator and go over in this one.

All right, to appease Coach Ollie, we will jump on the stairs and make a few picks the hard way...


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6 comments
CrazyMamaBear
CrazyMamaBear

@SeanCablinasian I went 11-6. Not bad for a girl!! :-)

jshea2424
jshea2424

@SeanCablinasian That's nothing, @hatchetmanDSE went 20-0 last week, including Redskins over Saints ML. #insideinfo

JoeGannascoli
JoeGannascoli

@SeanCablinasian @HoustonPress i dont bet, but u should have giants

51southpark
51southpark

@SeanCablinasian Your description of what the BEC has devolved into is hilarious - ND game in Dublin was epic

Doustism
Doustism

@SeanCablinasian much better than my 4-4 college start. Just waiting for the MAC tuesday night games to help out...#degeneratespeak

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