Football! This Weekend's Best Bets, Preying on UH's Misery

Categories: Game Time, Sports

No one has lost...yet.
I was asked on a Miami radio station on Thursday if I thought that the Dolphins had any chance of beating the Texans on Sunday. While firmly of the belief that the Texans will throttle the Dolphins by more than two touchdowns, I had to leave the door slightly ajar for a Dolphins upset, and I did so in the most self-loathing fashion possible with stomach-turning clichés like "anything can happen" and "everybody is 0-0 right now." (Real solid insight, I know.)

But as incredibly robotic as that answer was, that latter part is true -- we are all 0-0 right now. Not just the players, not just the coaches, but also the gamblers. We are 0-0! Hope springs eternal, boys! WE CAN DO THIS!

So join me now as I try and top last year's amazing 70-53-1 run. Come along for the ride....

Louisiana Tech -4 over HOUSTON
Before Hurricane Isaac rocked New Orleans so hard that they had to postpone a game in Shreveport, it was thought that Louisiana Tech was a chic pick to knock off Texas A&M, an A&M team that is now basically a pick 'em with Florida at home. So if they were a chic pick to knock off a decent SEC team on a neutral field, shouldn't Louisiana Tech be a much bigger favorite than -4 to knock off Houston on a field that will basically feel neutral after last week's Coogs loss to Texas State siphons off the non-diehard U of H fans?

And by the way, what's a team's record against the spread in the game after their offensive coordinator resigns one week into the season? Oh, and isn't this the same Louisiana Tech team that came within a furious Case Keenum-led comeback of beating the Coogs last season? I like Tony Levine, but this feels like the next chapter in a painful book about the maturation of quarterback David Piland.

Georgia -2.5 over MISSOURI
Decent matchup of quarterbacks with Aaron Murray and James Franklin, I'm just not ready to pick either of the SEC rookies to win games against the upper tier of the SEC. Not in their first game. So I'm taking Georgia, and then watching this video...

...because if I watch that video and still want to back Mark Richt, then it's gotta be a best bet!

CARDINALS +2 1/2 over Seahawks
First, let me preface with this -- I am a huge fan of Russell Wilson, partially because he is the odds-on favorite to win the "quarterback who proves the draft experts don't know shit" award, and partially because he looks like C. Thomas Howell in Soul Man (underrated guilty pleasure atrocity of the late '80s).

But I can't back a rookie quarterback on the road as a favorite in his first start. I just can't. On top of that, Cards starter John Skelton was 6-2 last season in place of Kevin Kolb, who is now so overpriced as a backup that they should put a life-sized Kevin Kolb-shaped gold bullion on the sidelines in place of the real Kolb as a reminder of how ridiculous some of these quarterback signings if Matt Flynn (and his $10 million guaranteed) standing on the Seattle sideline backing up Wilson isn't also a stark enough reminder.

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