John Shango: 14 Quotes From A Certifiably Insane Dallas Cowboys Fanboy Video
Since the advent of the internet, more specifically YouTube and social media, as a means for virtually anyone with a laptop and a nearby wi-fi connection to convey his or her thoughts, it seems as though the best way to get noticed is to perform the following sequence:
TO could have done worse, apparently
1. Scream your thoughts as loudly and blood vessel-poppingly as your voice box allows into a microphone, a camera lens, or both.
2. Upload your work to the web in podcast form or to YouTube.
3. Hope it finds its way into the hands of someone with an even bigger platform than yours, someone who will undoubtedly ridicule you.
4. Start counting down from fifteen minutes to zero.
5. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Examples of this mentality clutter the internet landscape, whether its Mike Valenti's now-famous 2006 rant regarding John L. Smith's Michigan State choke job against Notre Dame (NOTE: John L. Smith's decisions are the trigger event for roughly half of these types of rants. He's not good at his job.)...
...Dan Sileo's tirade last week after his alma mater Miami got rolled over by Kansas State 52-13...
....or every piece of footage on YouTube involving Stephen A. Smith, the squeakiest wheels get the grease, and the grease is a bizarre form of temporary relevance and a spot in blogs like this one.
So allow me to be part of the problem and introduce you to the latest entrant into the Outrage Hall of Fame. Say hello to John Shango (@JohnShango on Twitter, and presumably no relation to former WWE voodoo witch doctor Papa Shango), a Dallas Cowboys fan from Hollywood, CA (according to his Twitter bio).
Shango has a YouTube channel entitled "TheDallasCowboysShow," which I guess doesn't violate any copyright laws because it's all one word, or something. Anyway, he has uploaded 669 videos,
possibly making it the longest running series in television history behind The Simpsons, Monday Night Raw, and The Kige Ramsey Show.
Now, perhaps some of you had a chance to
savor watch the Seahawks' 27-7 total and complete annihilation of the Cowboys Sunday afternoon. Shango had a chance to watch it, and let me tell you that he is none too pleased with anybody associated with the Cowboys after that debacle.
So behold this completely irrational tour de force, enjoy it, sop it up with a biscuit, and then I'll give you my favorite parts, with thoughts:
Okay, here are the best parts: