Throwback Units: Ten Other Vintage Cop Car Designs HPD Should Consider

Categories: Spaced City

HPD once chose a 1975 Gremlin as its patrol car.
Everybody wants to go retro. From throwback uniforms in professional sports to '80s hipster hairdos, everybody is kicking it old school. Cars are not all that different. Dodge reinvented the Charger, the Volkswagen Beetle got reissued a few years back and we assume a reset of the El Camino is on the way.

Even the Houston Police Department is getting in on the action, going a little retro with their new black and white (cliché much?) patrol cars and uniforms that are going to replace the light (or is it Columbia?) blue bad boys we've seen around these parts for years. Maybe they finally got over the Oilers leaving for Tennessee. Maybe they are hinting to the Rockets that the old ketchup and mustard jerseys need to come back permanently. Whatever the case, I got to thinking there must be some other options for throwback patrol cars. Here are ten.

10. The General Lee

Okay, it's a bit ostentatious, but it has the rebel flag, which should go over GREAT in a city as culturally diverse as Houston, it has the Astro retro orange and, best of all, that horn that plays Dixie. I'd much rather hear that coming outside my window at 4 a.m. than the familiar siren.

9. Dragnet Police Car

When HPD is looking for the facts (ma'am), there is no more understated ride to do it in than the classic Dragnet car. It helped Sgt. Joe Friday keep an even keel, which could help reduce incidents of police brutality.

8. Mayberry R.F.D. Cruiser

Oh, man, how cool would HPD officers look rolling around town in Ford Galaxies? They could stop by Aunt Bea's for coffee, except it's now a drug shack filled with face-eating bath salts addicts.

7. Bandit's Trans Am

Smokey turns the tables on the criminals!

6. Jim Rockford's Firebird Esprit

More than the car, what they need is a theme song like that one and his hip-for-the-'70s answering machine.

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A few months ago Chiefie told us that we'd go to black n whites to 'save money'.  Now the b & w's are to cost more and we'll pay for 'em with the swag we swipe from the guilty and the not yet proven guilty. As for the battle dress uniforms you just proved your bona fides as a wanna bee army of occupation.  The concept of the peace officer is dead, long live the ninja clad thugs with badges and really cool tools. 


Porn 'stache? Jeff, you made me laugh with that one!!

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