"Alleged Feces" in Lufkin Dollar General Store Likely Came from Woman and not "Large Animal"

Categories: Whatever

[Midnight Star] No poopin'...no poopin' in the store-room.[/Midnight Star]
On entering a storeroom at a Lufkin Dollar General store, an employee was shocked, dismayed and appalled to find the floor dotted with a pile or piles of what KTRE has described as "a 'large animal amount' of feces."

The staff acted quickly and decisively. (You would too if you believed there was a cougar, wolf or maybe even a bear crapping up a storm in your storeroom.) They tied the door shut and called Lufkin Police.

While the cops were en route, the employees viewed the store's security tapes. Mystery solved: A female customer is seen on the tapes heading into the storeroom and leaving before the dooky-mounds were discovered.

While the woman is not explicitly seen dropping these epic deuces on the tape, she is reportedly the only person shown entering that door, which is clearly marked with signs declaring that it is for employees only and that there are restrooms elsewhere on the premises.

The store manager is said to be considering filing criminal charges.

We called the store to get the latest breaks in this depraved diary of dollar-store defecation. We wanted to know exactly what kind of large animal they thought might have done the deed, and whether they planned to keep that door locked in the future, and to whom it fell to clean up that zoo cage-like storeroom, but the manager-on-doodie sighed, chuckled and refused comment.

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Who could perpetrate such an anus crime?

David Houston
David Houston

Well it's pretty disgusting reading, but no more disgusting than some Walmart restrooms I've seen, and they are actually restrooms for that purpose.   Probably the most stomach churning thing I ever saw was in a Michaels, too gross for words, and a definite health hazard since both blood and excrement was involved.  But, if I had to give a prize out for the worst mess I've seen in a store - it would be the night I reported a messed up toilet to a late night Manager in a Randalls, and then listened to a discussion between the staff (after they'd gone to survey the damage and came back ashen and shaken to the core) who were asking if they could be fired if they refused to clean it.  It was disgusting, they couldn't have paid me enough, so I don't blame the staff for refusing to clean it up in that case.


Working in retail, I know this to be true: Humans are the most filthy of any animal, particularly when it comes to bathroom habits. The woman more than likely would have crapped in the store if the door had been locked to the store room. This story does not surprise me at all. I've also seen plenty of human crap on Main Street in downtown Houston.  It's more surprising to me,  that there is so little news in East Texas that the media there reports on where and when people take a crap.

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