We Knew It! The Green Lantern Is DC's Gay Superhero

Categories: Whatever

Graphics by Monica Fuentes
The Green Lantern is here, queer and not going shopping.
The epic decision has been made: The DC comic hero who is coming out of the closet is...the Green Lantern.

Or should it be the Chartreuse Lantern, amirite. know what I'm sayin'?

Of course, the Green Lantern was on our list of six top candidates to be given The Gay.

Here's our analysis from Craig Malisow:

This is straight from DC Comics' bio: "Imagine if the ring on your finger was more than a piece of gaudy jewelry. Instead, it's the universe's most powerful weapon." Oh, really? A ring, you say? Perhaps the ring is more than the source of Green Lantern's power, but is a wedding ring he wears as a show of defiance to California's Prop 8, and of a sign of love and commitment to a husband who might not be a superhero but who's still special in his own way.

We personally were hoping for Wonder Woman, but that's just us. And there's still a chance it could happen, the next time DC needs a wave of publicity.

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David Houston
David Houston

Makes sense to me, and will be hailed by all the stereo-typical geeks who spent years reading such comic books, and developing their paranoid fear of women; hey such a thing might well turn a guy gay...  It could happen. 

Yes it all makes sense now, why so many grown men retreat into their fantasy worlds (or closets) of 'outwardly-appearing heterosexual' cartoon muscle-bound supermen, just maybe it's to compensate for their own physical inadequacies and perhaps repressed sexuality; yes there must be something in this... 

At least Superman had a girlfriend, then again perhaps Lois was just his hag - for appearances sake...

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

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