Celebrity Q&As: Five Answers They Always Give

Categories: Whatever

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Lemme ask you a question...
We love us some celebrity Q&As, whether it's a movie star, politician, author or whatever.

You find them in the Onion's fine Random Roles, or in The New York Times Magazine or in the main section where people describe their Sundays, or just about anywhere on the web.

Each of them will most likely include variations on at least three of these five answers.

1. Picking a favorite movie/book that they've done is like "picking your favorite child. All are special in their own way." Yeah, but we bet pampered movie stars, at the least, have a kid they much prefer over their others ones, probably the one who thinks the parent is the coolest ever. But if you put a gun to their head, it would be their current project.

4. Doing voice-over work is great. Mostly for two things: no hours in the make-up chair, and you can wear ratty clothes. The clothes are usually described by the star as "a t-shirt and shorts," but we bet they cost more than an strapped family's monthly food budget.

3. They don't read critics or the internet, but somehow "a friend" always seems to mention something to them

2. A "lazy Sunday" begins at 7 a.m. And they luxuriate in the ability to sleep in, as normal people can read in their New York Times after they get up at 11 a.m. each Sunday.

1. At least one fellow actor will be describes as "generous." usually the biggest name the interviewee can drop.

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Tunnel Mole
Tunnel Mole

Don't forget when they blush and go all self-deprecating every time a clip from their salad days -- where they look tons younger/slimmer, etc -- is sprung on them on a talk show. 

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