Tracy McGrady's Chinese Beer Commercial, Dissected (w/ VIDEO)

Maybe it's because he was given official "ambassador" status a couple years ago, perhaps it's because China is one of the few locales left where he hasn't lost a playoff series, but most likely because he happened to share roster space (and the benefits of a robust health plan) with Yao Ming for about five years, Chinese people LOVE Tracy McGrady!

It doesn't matter if T-Mac has morphed from a dynamic two-time scoring champion into a part-time swingman who gets up and down the floor with the speed and agility of Fred Sanford, if Tracy is selling, the Chinese are buying!

This phenomenon apparently includes beer.

tmacbeer.jpg
Ganbei, ballas
I have no idea if Sedrin beer is good-quality beer or if it's the Chinese equivalent of some kind of piss water. (For what it's worth, the bottles are designed and colored strikingly similarly to Rolling Rock.) Whatever the case, Sedrin appears to be an NBA sponsor of some sort and Tracy McGrady is apparently speaking for them (and if he isn't officially speaking for them, this is the best-edited, most peculiar candid video of all time).

I don't speak Chinese, so much like one would with a silent movie, I will have to do some body-language and physical-comedy forensics to try and discern the plot of this 30-second ad.

0:02 -- Tracy McGrady is walking somewhere, with a six-pack of Sedrin in his hands and a quiet sense of purpose in his heart. How do you know Tracy McGrady is a big deal? Well, his autograph is on the screen when they show the tight front shot of him from Camera 2. Autograph equals "big deal," got it? Also, I guess this is how we know it's really Tracy McGrady and not some impostor -- his autograph authenticates himself (that and his lackadaisical right peeper).

0:04 -- So why is Tracy strolling along carrying a sixer of Chinese beer? Well, apparently, it's because he's either in China or in the Chinatown section of some plush suburb in the United States (trees, brick homes, tennis courts...perhaps the Chinatown section of Champions Forest). Also, there's four Chinese dudes, and they're speaking Chinese. (I didn't say these would be complicated forensics.)

0:05 -- The four rapscallions have set a trap for T-Mac and a basketball is the bait. It appears that they have wedged their ball in between the rim and the glass, and one of them volunteers to politely request that Tracy dislodge their ball from its game-stopping peril. Tracy obliges, apparently oblivious to the fact that all four of the amateur ballers have scurried away chuckling at the hilarity that is about to ensue.

0:09 -- Tracy actually jumps to try and knock the ball loose with his right hand while holding his six-pack in his left hand -- total amateur move.

0:10 -- In what is by far the most realistic part of the video, Tracy is unable to tap the ball out on his first jumping attempt as he barely grazes the net with his hand. Rocket fans are having seizures right now as visions of this dance through their heads...


....as they vow to never, ever drink a bottle of Sedrin. EVER.

0:12 -- Tracy thinks to himself (perhaps in Chinese), "Maybe if I get a running start, I can help these young lads get their ball back...wherever they may have gone." So Tracy places his beer on the ground (UH OH!), and inexplicably decides to leap up and grab the ball with two hands. He quickly realizes what Admiral Akbar had warned all of us -- IT'S A TRAP!!

0:14 -- Somehow, despite the most poorly concocted plan to steal beer in the history of teenage shenanigans, these four Chinese youths managed to rope Tracy McGrady into grabbing a wedged basketball with two hands and, while Tracy was focusing on the task at hand, they managed to sneak into the brush and crank the adjustable rim to about 20 feet in the air. (By the way, these kids are playing on the bizarro teenage playground basketball court. When I was a kid, we wanted a hoop that adjusted downward to, say, eight feet so we could dunk. Apparently, in China they like to have the option of raising the hoop to 20 feet so that making jump shots becomes nearly impossible. Oh, and so they can trap aging NBA stars high in the air while they steal their beer.)

0:18 -- The four cackling thieves bask in the glow of a perfectly executed (albeit far-fetched) scheme by cracking open T-Mac's icy cold Sedrin beers and taunting him while he dangles high above. But they forgot about one thing...

0:20 --Yeah, whichever member of this gang of street toughs was responsible for making sure that Tracy remained out of the picture long enough for them to drink the stolen lager, that guy forgot about Tracy's one go-to escape route, an old friend of his that has become like an angel on his shoulder in the latter part of his NBA career -- GRAVITY! Yeah, by merely letting go of the rim, a vengeful McGrady returns to the ground, ready to reclaim his stolen liquid gold. (This was by far the most unrealistic part of the commercial since anyone who has watched Tracy McGrady over the last ten years knows that if he were to let go of a rim from 20 feet in the air, his legs would shatter into a million pieces on contact with the pavement.)

0:23 --Tracy utters a Chinese phrase and breaks out in an ear-to-ear grin. Apparently unperturbed by the youths' dangling him from high in the air and the attempted theft of his property, Tracy decides to take the high road and share his beer with the lads.

0:28 -- While whipping the ball behind his back and wedging it back into the rim and glass portion of the backboard, Tracy utters one more Chinese phrase (which I will pretend means "Hey, there's Metta World Peace. Let's see if we can pull that same stunt on him!").

Listen to Sean Pendergast on 1560 The Game from 6 a.m. to 11 a.m. weekdays, and watch the simulcast on Comcast 129 from 6 a.m. to 8 a.m. Also, follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanCablinasian.


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10 comments
FattyFatBastard
FattyFatBastard topcommenter

What is this Clutchfans you show on here?

Edmund
Edmund

Rough and literal translation..

At 0:21, T-Mac is saying smth roughly similar to "If you count yourself a bro, grab a bottle and drink together."At 0:26, He says "let's have a game of ball".As a Chinese myself, I find this ad puzzling too..

Tony Touch
Tony Touch

Sean Pendergast shut the fuck up bitch, you hater

Prof Topkat
Prof Topkat

Actually, most Chinese beers are really good.

David Houston
David Houston

Who knows, it might actually be a good beer.  Some Asian countries already make decent beers.  My Dad lived in Malaysia for a long time and got a taste for Tiger Beer, now oddly enough I've developed a taste for Tiger Beer.  And besides, since the powers that be seem to make no effort to limit Chinese imports anyway, which ultimately undermines the US economy and the USA as a manufacturing base, we may as well all head to Walmart and try it out.  Can't beat 'em, so let's drown our sorrows by drinking their beer...

ChineseTheOSD
ChineseTheOSD

夏恩。 它是一次長的旅途從您的關於T Mac的前個博克。 對長期的方式。 T Mac仍然變酸在與老鷹翼和兇手老虎的心臟的高山。T Mac是很聰明的。 他可以飛行一样高象所有中國愛他。啤酒止乾渴。 像T Mac熄滅我們的燕子飛行上流的慾望在我們的希望和夢想之上。那些男孩尋找一個方式是在T Mac中生活。我們盼望您的與一十億次心跳的下個T Mac博克到天堂。Xia En. It is a long journey from you before T Mac Blog. To long-term way. T Mac still soared and the eagle wing and the murderer tiger's heart's mountain.  T Mac is very intelligent. He may fly equally high possesses China to love him likely. The beer stops thirstily. Looks like T Mac to extinguish our swallow flight upper reaches desire in above ours hope and the dream.  These boys seek for a way are live in T Mac.  We hope you and 1,000,000,000 palpitation's under T Mac Blog to the heaven.

Sam Brown
Sam Brown

Because of Yao, tons of former Rockets still have endorsements over there.  I was reading about how Bonzi freggin Wells still pulls a small check for some 3rd or 4th-tier Chinese shoe manufacturer. 

Tony Morris77478
Tony Morris77478

T-Mac lives in the Sugar land area.  I see all the time with his kids while they play soccer or baseball

ahem!
ahem!

But we're all some form of hater, aren't we?  For instance, you are hating on Sean for his excellence in hating on T-Mac.  I'm hating on whatever knucklehead that first began using the word hater in this context.  However, I love the phrase, "Boots with the furrr..."

MGL_COOG
MGL_COOG

I was thinking the same exact thing. Well said!

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