If MLB Really Wants to Speed Up the Game, Here's How to Do It

Categories: Sports

As a baseball fan, I can freely admit that the game has a few faults that need to be fixed. For instance, games do tend to be a bit long, and it appears that Major League Baseball is figuring this out. They are supposedly going to be taking steps to speed things up a bit, starting next season. And they're going to do so by making that stupid-ass fake-throw-to-third-real-throw-to-first pickoff move a real balk.

That's a nice start, but let's face it, that only happens about once a game, at most. So it's not really going to affect the time-of-game stat that much. Which is why I have a few suggestions on speeding up the game a bit.

9. Why don't the umpires actually start calling balks?
You want to cut time from a game, then cut down on the number of throws over to first when a decent runner is on base. You know how people have always marveled at how effective Andy Pettitte's move to first base is? That's because it's a balk. Call that a balk a few times and he'll stop throwing over there 90 times an inning.

8. Let's eliminate the Seventh Inning Stretch, particularly on Sundays
Yes, it's tradition. But most teams play two songs during that time, and TV is generally back to catch about 30-45 seconds of fans standing around doing nothing. And it's longer on Sunday as they make a Broadway production number out of "God Bless America," then "Take Me Out to the Ballgame," then whatever song that particular team uses, "Deep in the Heart of Texas," "Sweet Caroline," etc.

tick-tock clock.JPG
The clock is ticking.
7. Do you really want to speed things up?
Then order the umpires to acknowledge the existence of the entire strike zone. There will be a lot less 3-2 counts if a pitch above the knee or a pitch just under the armpit is called a strike like it's supposed to be called. And there'll be less time with pitchers standing on the mound, stressing over pitches, if they know they don't have to throw the perfect strike to get a strike call. It'll also speed things up since there'll be fewer walks.

6. Speaking of walks, let's just eliminate the four-pitch intentional walk
If a team wants to intentionally walk a batter, just have the catcher stand and hold up four fingers, or something, then have the umpire order the batter to take first base.

5. I'm calling this the Brad Mills Rule: If you need to use a different pitcher for each batter, for seven straight batters, to get seven outs, then you need to be fired because you suck as a manager
There really needs to be a rule to prevent a manager from using his entire bullpen in a game, unless there's an injury, because nothing takes as much time as it takes a manager to walk to the mound, to motion to the bullpen, for the reliever to jog in, then take his warm-up pitches, then adjust his cup, then adjust his cap, then talk to his catcher, then talk to the first baseman who's come over for a chat, then chat with the home plate umpire who comes over to break things up.

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Baseball needs:

Cheap beer and hot dogs. 10 cent beer night.

Legalize pot and let the stoners smoke in the "bleacher bum" cheap seats. Unlike the cheap beer people, we wont fight. Cheap nachos too with that funky cheese whiz (see above).

I see nothing wrong with the wave. If you dont want to do it, sit down and not do it.


Let women show their hooters on hot summer days.


If you want to speed up the game, get TiVo and watch it in fast forward. After discovering this trick, I'm finally watching baseball again.


The wave is for morons.  Although this is not something that would speed up the game, I would love to see MLB take a chain saw to that fucking organ.  God, I hate the sound of someone playing scales, over & over.  I suppose many believe this is a traditional behavior, but I happen to hate it.  


these are terrible and you suck. get an attention span.


Rule #7 is all you need. Calling the entire strike zone will speed up the game significantly.


I like baseball basically the way it is. It's more of a thinking game than reacting. An idea that I have to shorten games is --- when a team leads by more than 4 runs, the other team keeps batting thru their innings until they run out of outs, or they score enough to make the game more interesting.  the leading team doesn't lose their at bats, just stockpile them until needed.  This would also do away with the complaint that the leading team is piling on (embarassing the trailing team)

Jim C
Jim C

I've been pushing for rule #4 for years.

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